Mix in the Good with the Bad

Things have been up and down lately.

I was hoping to post some photos I took of Fountains Abbey on Sunday but I haven’t edited them yet so it might be a bit before I do. But I got a lot on my mind that I just need to let out. On the job front I really thought I had a possible job but it’s starting to look like my last chance is going out the window because I never had a need for a national insurance number until now. It will be crunch time but hopefully I can get all the information they need as well as pass the tests to get a temporary job so I can actually buy my own plane ticket home as well as have a bit left over. But it’s starting to look like not only will I be going home sooner and poorer but not have any real kind of job.

Beyond that I did have some good personal news. We got the venue for the UK reception booked and we’re going to do our Save the Dates this weekend. We meant to start working on a budget but we were pretty busy last weekend and not really in the house. So sometime this week or over the weekend we will. The reception actually looks like a nice place, we like the feel of it and it looks nice.

But then last night I got some news that really threw me off. It was like getting sucker punched and then hit again for a knock out. One of my friends from back home who I’ve known for years and years had some bad news for me. A mutual friend who shall remain nameless has been accused of murder. It’s someone who has had a bit of a troubled past but one I didn’t know much about. I don’t know the motive or if there was one or if it was true. All I know was a guy that seemed genuinely nice and I gave a ride home a few times (he didn’t drive) is now in jail for murder. Based on some their past issues, if it’s true I don’t think they should go to jail but a psychiatric hospital. Now I’m not normally one who would generally be okay with this but I know this person is troubled and based on what he may have done, it’s got to be screwing with his head. My friend that told me this is going to see what he can do and I guess possibly talk to him. It’s just completely mind boggling.

Then he gave me some news of his own that just breaks my heart for him. He’s getting divorced and from the sound of it he will remain friends with the ex and try to see the kids as much as possible. But he’s having to move on from his current situation to another. I don’t know the circumstances of what happened but it makes me sad to see that this is happening to him. I am of course biased in the situation because he is my friend and I know he’s got to be hurt. But I know I can’t judge either since I wasn’t in the situation. It was honestly one of those situations where I thought it would work because I know how much of a decent guy he is. But even nice people get divorced. I’m not one that generally believes in ending a marriage unless there is abuse involved. I’m also probably one of many that wants to just grab hold and slap across the face one of many celebrities that rush into things and two seconds later things are over.

My fiance and I have talked before about if things ever ended for us then that’s it we would never get married again. Because we both don’t want that and in many ways we are insecure about the other based on past experiences. He’s had more than one girlfriend get bored with him. I think he still expects it with me sometimes but then he sees how I get when we talk about being separated from each other with the long distance (just the thought of it happening sooner today cause me to break down in tears) and we see how much we get along. We can be stupidly immature with each and laugh about it and there is no one else we have ever been able to do that with. I’m not one that generally believes in fate and destiny and such. I’m more of a “you choose your own destiny” kind of person and I wouldn’t have it any other way with him. I can still majorly crush on celebrities like Gerard Butler or Michael Fassbender and it doesn’t bother him and he can do likewise.

Anyhow I’m getting past the point I was wanting to make about my friend. He’ll find someone, that right person that is for him. He’s still young and he’s already got plans for his new situation so he’s a lot better off then someone with no plan. His situation as well as the other thing that happen makes it hard for me to be happy about plans with Mike. Because in my ideal world everything is happy and great and hunky dory. But in the real world it doesn’t happen that way.

So I might have go home soon. I am looking forward to it in a lot of ways but I’m also going to miss being around Mike so much. At least we’ll get Christmas together. That’s a positive way to look at it.

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