In Loving Memory…

So its been a few weeks since I felt I could get on here and share this. But at the beginning of the month my beautiful cat Indy passed away. My mom immediately emailed me to let me know what happened and I think they were baffled as she was one minute sleeping and then the next minute gone. I know she was having issues with blood in her urine and from what the vet told me when it first happened was crystallisation in her kidneys which told me either her kidneys were shutting down slowly or there was some kind of issue like cancer or kidney disease that we did not know. I knew it was coming but I don’t think I expected it so soon after I left and for it to be abrupt. I thought maybe she’d go to the vet and they’d announce she had something that required her to be put to sleep as she was too old to fight it. And since I wasn’t there I have no idea if she had any symptoms like Missy did when she went through Kidney Disease. All I know is I hope she wasn’t in pain and she was as happy as she could be sleeping in a bed. I remember the day I left too. I was crying because I knew it was going to be the last time I saw her and I felt like I was abandoning her. I was happy to be able to see my husband but I missed her so much. I think I even cried a few days after showing up too and struggled to sleep not just because of the time change but because I didn’t have her snuggled up with me as I had every night for years. I knew she missed me and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. But at least I had my mom taking good care of her. And now that I don’t have to worry about her and how she’s doing because I know she’s doing good and she’s in a better place with my dogs and cats I lost before. I also don’t feel guilty about the love I have for Grey because he’s been a huge comfort and I never forgot about her. My love for cats and the ones I’ve own (or been owned by) has never been short or not been enough for all of them. It’s hard to put into words so I hope I’m not being confusing. Anyway it has been hard for me to type this but I’m glad I did too as I wanted to say more about her and my memory of her. She was a beautiful sweet cat that wanted nothing more than to be the centre of your attention, I think it was a unique trait in her as I don’t think I ever had a cat be so happy from the moment I found her and fed her to this last year when I would come home from work and she would come running to greet me. I actually had to take about 20 minutes to let her lay in my lap and pet her until she was satisfied and I could do something else to unwind from my day.

And to tell you something else I’ve found rather strange. My cat Grey who loves to come into our room and lay on the bed with or without us, has twice this week laid in my lap while in bed. It’s something he’s not really done before as he usually either sleeps at the end of the bed or right next to me. Beyond him laying in my lap on the couch I usually have to pull him and lay him in my lap or on my stomach in order him to lay there but he’s come there of his own accord. It’s like he knew that lap belonged to someone else and he wasn’t going to take it until he knew it was okay. Its like laying on a lap in bed is a privileged position that only a few get to do. Anyway I shall leave this with a photos of my Indy River during happy times.

Found July 4th 1998-Passed March 4th 2015

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Welcome Home?

So I’m home now. I got home safe. Though it doesn’t really feel like home anymore.

I have to say it has been so weird being back. I came home and the smell in the house was unfamiliar and not that pleasant. It was probably a mixture of stale cigarette smoke and the smell of animals. My room for the most part didn’t look that different. Just had a load of stuff my mom put in there but hadn’t gotten around to putting away. I filled two bags yesterday of stuff I want to get rid of. One was trash the other was clothes for donation. As soon as today is over with I’ll be working on the desk filled with my mom’s stuff so I have spot to put things. Do really wish I had cable in my room again. The converter box my parents had been disconnected since I wasn’t here and they got me something to watch basic cable with but the damn thing turned off on its own last night to save energy and I haven’t been able to get it on again. I got two litter boxes in my room now. I don’t think I need two in here but what can ya do?

My flight home was hell. I was stuck between two people. One was a nice English woman who I didn’t speak to much but was kind. The other was some American guy that didn’t say two words to me and kept writing stuff down and making charts and drawings and wouldn’t stop moving around! I couldn’t watch the inflight movie which I had a feeling would happen but I couldn’t really pull out my laptop to watch one of the two films I got. I did watch them when I got home but I read a book, did some word searches and listen to music most of the time on the flight.

As far as me crying I did okay until I got on the plane from Chicago to St. Louis. I was having an issue with getting to my seat. I thought I was looking at the right one but I’m beginning to wonder if I was one row off. Anyway I ended up being the last one seated and had a flight attendant get a bit snippy with my row since they were letting me in. I felt it was unnecessary. That set me off with missing Mike. Then I when I saw my mom I was set off again. Yesterday I did okay for the most part but that would be cause I kept myself busy. But today I have feeling it’s going to be hard. I’d much rather just stay home and hid under the covers but we’re going to my aunts. I almost want to drive myself so I can go home when I want to but it’s been over a year since I drove.

I’m finding that I don’t really know what to do with myself. Beyond cleaning my room there’s not much to do. I’ve watched a few films, cleaned parts of the house while my parents were at work. Looked at wedding stuff online and for the venue and did do a little job searching. I don’t really know where to start with the job searching, I’m looking at retail stuff but also library work but I don’t want to do too much searching before I go see my former boss that has offered to help look at my resume.

I supposed to hang out with a friend and one of my bridesmaids on Sunday. I don’t know what to do. It’s really hard to do anything when you have no money. I do about 25 dollars but that’s it. And I’d rather use it on something I need. Plus I got stuff I need to get and I wonder if I should wait for that.

Anyway I might do some cleaning before we go.

Oh yeah my cat Indy (who I swear not only lost weight but shrunk!) has been so happy to have me back. She looked shocked when I came home but has been staying with me most of the time. Twice I’ve woken up at 4am with her sleeping right on top of my bladder, which has also make my need to pee more needed. My jet lag is kind of eh. Tuesday I took a nap when I got home and then went to bed after like 10 but I was awake at 4am, got up to go to the bathroom and wasn’t able to go back to sleep. Last night I went to bed at 9:30 and then stayed in bed after I woke up. I don’t remember if I fell back to sleep but I was up at 7. I have been taking it easy.

Anyway this might be my last post on here. I need to get sorted and then I think about the other blog. Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving.

The Ballad of Indy River

There hasn’t been much going on lately here since New Years. Mike is back to his regular schedule with work and me being a lazy bum as usual. Alarm goes off at 6:30 and then goes off every 10 minutes until he gets up just after 7:30 to get dressed, brush his teeth, and walk out the door and I try to go back to sleep. Tends to be why I sleep so late cause I can’t just go to sleep right away unless I’m dead tired. So when I finally get up, I’ve been holing up in Mike’s room for the most part to do my daily procrastinating routine until I work on my paper and then reward myself with food and I know any work after is done for cause I generally stop working once I feed myself and want to watch tv and/or play the sims 3.

But I’m not gonna continue with that. Lately I’ve been really homesick. I’m missing some stuff I can only get in St. Louis and I don’t care how pathetic this makes me sound. I miss my cat like crazy. Every time I talk to my mom I hear that whiny meow of hers and just want to grab her up and give her a hug and then have her jump out of my arms cause she is very uncomfortable with being held and don’t even try to put her on her back, she freaks out and a scratch or two is received when she is on her mission to get back on solid ground. She more a lap cat and hates to be moved. That generally why she whines, cause someone is moving around while she’s on their lap or when she wants on and someone won’t let her. She is a peculiar cat. She loves to get under the covers, she has a ridiculous loud purr. She loves dogs once she gets to know them, if there is a visitor she wants to get in their lap and purr away. She loves to go outside and demands it many times a day even if she’s only out for 5 minutes. She so different from how we found her when I was about 12.

One year my family and I went camping for the 4th of July and we went to this campground I haven’t been to since I was a kid. I loved it there cause the owner of the campground or whoever ran the store that was right on the property had a momma cat and a litter of kittens. I remembered it when I went again all those years later. I think it was on my mind  because my birthday was near and I was really wanting another cat. I had one cat, Missy, my mom got her from a co-worker when I was six cause his cat had kittens and he was trying to get rid of them. Missy basically became my cat the day she came home whether she or anyone else knew it at the time. I loved her to death but I liked cats so I wanted more. When we had first gotten Missy we also had an older tabby cat Eddie who ended up passing away unexpectedly a few months after we got Missy, my mom ended up bring Missy’s sister home too who was named Molly (not my name choice though years later I realized the name fit with Missy who I named). But at the time 3 cats and a dog was a bit much so I had to choose between the cats, Missy or Molly. I liked Molly but I didn’t really get to bond with her. So I choose Missy since I had more of an attachment to her. So 6 years later I wanted another kitty. My mom wasn’t too keen on the idea, she was thinking of the money costs which I understand but to a kid like me, I just wanted a cat and I hoped for a playmate for Missy.

So back to the camping trip. It was near the end of the trip. In fact it was the 4th of July. I generally didn’t like camping because it always seemed to rain when we went and this year wasn’t that different. My younger cousin came with me and my parents the day before his family showed up so he was my bunk mate in the tent for the night. In the middle of the night he woke up me because lo and behold my tent had started leaking so we ended up sleeping in my mom’s car, I always preferred sleeping in the car to the tent because of my wonderful experiences with rain and camping. July 4th was a nice day though, nice and sunny and hot. We went to a connivence store nearby that day to get some snacks and supplies and to get some gas. As we went inside we saw this little tricolored cat. I thought she was pretty and I liked calico cats though she seemed rather afraid of me. She kind of ran away when we approached the building. My mom and I got what we wanted inside and we sat at a bench just outside waiting for my dad. The cat was still there, she seemed to approach when we didn’t move. I had a candy bar that I had opened so I lowered it to see if I could get her to come closer so I could pet her. My mom at this point decided to grab her so we could say hi to her and she managed it. We then discovered how skinny she was and that she was covered in ticks. Before we grabbed her my mom thought she belonged to the people at the gas station but we wondered she really did. So My mom had her in her arms and opened the door to ask if the cat was theirs. Apparently it was not. The people seem to imply that she was left there and abandon by a by-passer and she just hung out sometimes at the store. That ended up being enough for my mom to allow us to take her to the campsite and eventually bring her home.

When we brought her back to the campsite she was not too keen on the dogs and seeing all kinds of people. So funny how afraid she was of the golden retriever when a year later she would be curled up with him on the floor and kneading his fur while he whimpered a little but took it like a champ. After we got all the ticks off her she was covered in and fed her a little food, she ran off, we accidentally let her go to eat from a paper plate and had this little rope tied so loosely around her neck she got out of it. But after my cousin found her and let me know by saying “What’s black white and tan and called a cat?” We put her in my mom’s car (especially cause it was fireworks time and she would have been terrified) and I got in the car with her with a cold hot dog and a cup of milk (why I thought milk was a good idea considering she wasn’t a kitten I have no idea). She ate up the hot dog while I held it and lap at the milk a little and then started purring like mad and rubbing all over me and jumping up so she could rub my face with hers. I slept in the car that night with her and I gotta say there wasn’t that much sleeping going on at first cause she would not leave me alone! I’m glad I won her over but Jeez! I was so tired. I think I passed out from exhaustion and when I woke up that morning I turned my head to find she had curled up on my pillow next to me. It was the cutest thing to see and I immediately woke her up by petting her and her purring/rubbing all over me started once more. That was the start of our wonderful friendship. I will say I loved her despite my closer attachment to Missy but she put up with it. I decided to name her Independence River, since we found her on Independence Day at the river. And I shortened it for the vet by calling her Indy River though I just tend to call her Indy most of the time. Indy and Missy never did become friends, Missy was a crab and only put up with one of the dogs we had, the golden retriever. Though over the years they tolerated each other more (all dogs and cats). Indy at some point realized she was the bigger cat and would occasionally pick the fights but she never tried to take Missy’s place as the Alpha cat. I always thought she was disinterested in stuff and didn’t like people food the way Missy did. But after Missy passed away back in July I started to see bits of Indy that she kept hidden away. She became my morning cuddle buddy and when I had chicken or ice cream she was there to wait for a piece or try to steal one (though she prefers vanilla and not chocolate unlike Missy who loved all kinds). I really didn’t want to leave her when I moved to the UK. But I didn’t have much choice. I know she misses me too because she had no idea where I went and sulked for about a week after I left and barely left the upstairs where my room is. She’s now attached to my mom which my mom has found rather annoying cause she is such a needy cat. I was hoping to bring her over here eventually. But I have no idea if I’ll be staying here so can’t really make those kind of plans and I don’t want to put her through that kind of stress if it’s unnecessary. I really hadn’t intended to make this post only about my cat but I figured how I got her was an interesting enough story. Well back to my lazy Sunday.

Indy and me back home on the back porch
A better look at her face


EDIT: Man I didn’t check this for typos at all. I reread a few hours later and was like yeah this isn’t okay by my standards at all. So since I’ve edited it. I thought I’d put a picture of my cat Missy as well.

Missy, Queen of the household including me.

Buses and Trains and Hills Oh My!

So after a week of experiencing Leeds on my own I have come to a few conclusions.

1. Hills are a bitch but I have to get used to them, especially the one that takes me to the city center in about 10 minutes (give or take a few minutes depending on how fast I can catch my breath, right now I’m lucky if make it up without slowing down).

2. Buses are confusing since they have more than one and the two I generally take have different deals for things, also if you see an angry Eastern European driving one of the first buses, stay away! Unless you like to be thrown from one side of the bus to the other with hardly a blink of an eye and get thrown down the stairs of the double-decker, bodily injury is likely. Also to catch a bus you may have to wave your hand (and if you’re like me, feel like an idiot) so they know you want on cause apparently just standing up and making eye contact with the bus driver is not enough. I learned that last Thursday after waiting about 45 minutes and getting passed up by two different buses and then getting fed up and walking home in the pouring rain with a heavy load and an injured knee (ie crazy Eastern European bus driving). But I’m slowly getting the hang of it. I just have to learn what stops to tell them since despite driving all over Leeds, they don’t always know where my street is (and there being a bus stop on my street). My “I hate buses, I hate buses” from last Thursday is slowly changing. I’m also contemplating getting a metro pass so I won’t have to remember what bus has what deal and what fare is different. One bus charged me a pound to go into town from my street, another charged me £1.90 for the same distance back to my place. And if I’m gonna be getting more buses with the weather getting colder and wetter, it might be a good idea.

3. I have yet to get on a train by myself. Though I might have my first chance this Friday. It just depends on when I get done at my place and decide I want to head to Mike’s. But I’m slowly getting the hang of that too. When me and Mike aren’t trying to catch the next train to Huddersfield and me either being grumpy and out of breath or just out of breath, I’ve managed to see what platform we usually get on and what fare I’m usually paying for. Yesterday I was pretty proud of myself when going to meet Mike at the train station. I walked the whole way and I didn’t get lost and I got there in about 35 minutes cause I picked my feet off the ground and power walked (or Mike-walked since his normal pace without me is fast). And then when we thought we were gonna miss the next train, we pretty much ran all the way to the platform and onto the train only to find that clock on the TV in Wetherpoons was off and we had plenty of time. Granted I think I was able to keep up cause he had a hold of my hand and I was good until I was trying to catch up on the escalator and lost all decent breathing skills and was panting until I sat in the seat on the train.

4. Back to me walking faster. I generally think I have an average pace especially when I don’t really to be somewhere immediately. But I am noticing that most people around me tend to walk faster and I don’t know if that is an English thing or a student thing or am I really that slow lol But after my first week having freak warm weather and then turning to normal which is about an average of 50s degree weather and being windy and/or wet. I tend to take baby steps when it’s raining out cause I don’t enjoy the thought of falling flat on my butt in public and possibly even injuring myself. But as Mike said yesterday, the roads are used to being wet so even though I don’t trust my shoes I can trust the ground (but avoid those metal things in the road when walking through a cross walk, those are slippery). When I managed to catch my breath after the large hill and trusted the ground enough not to fall I picked my feet up and really walked and I want to say that I cut out at least 5-10 minutes of walking just by changing my pace. It’s gonna take a while though before I can conquer hills without breaking a sweat or panting most of the way up. I know too that my legs and knees will hurt on occasion as they get used to this different way of getting around. As long as I don’t come across anymore crazy bus drivers I should be good.

Now I have realized a few others things since I’ve been here beyond transportation and getting around. I miss home a lot, I know it’s weird but I honestly didn’t think I would get that home sick. But since I’ve only been here two weeks and the only person I really talk to is Mike and his parents. It’s pretty bad when you look at photos/videos of your animals and that brings heavy sadness. Hopefully that will change now that I have a phone and I can exchange numbers with a few classmates. I kind of want to join something around here too but I don’t know what. That’s one thing that bugs me about missing the welcome week. I didn’t really get to mingle a lot or see what kind of clubs they have. Personally I don’t that much about what goes on with my accommodation since I’m focused on school and it seems the people around me are more focused on going out and having a good time and then coming back rather loudly and being stupid (such as the twats that decided to go around my floor around 5am Sunday trying to see if any doors were unlocked. I couldn’t go back to sleep cause I was more angry than disturbed by the noises they were making). I probably should report to the reception desk but I don’t know what they would say or if they could do anything about it. They have managed to rectify themselves though, despite my room not being in the best condition (in my opinion) and having a leak. They were quick about getting someone to come in and see what the problem was. I have to get this thing replaced and I say thing because I have no idea what to call it or what it’s function is. But this post shall be followed with photos. Anyway I think the pretty much sums up my last week.


Now I would share photos of the bathroom but I took them sideways and this thing won’t save the image when I try to edit it so don’t really know what to do. Anyhow, it’s like a closet. I walk up and in front of me is the mirror and sink, to the right is a single person stall and to the left is the toilet and with towel rack and a small space to store stuff. It also makes a weird noise every time after I flush, don’t think there is much I can do about that lol