So I’m going through stuff that I want to pack and I’m realizing I just don’t have the room.
I only have two bags and two carry on and it’s just not enough to hold everything. I don’t think I realized how much I had here. Some of it is stuff I asked my mom to send me and I’m beginning to regret it since I don’t have the room. I got tons of shoes that I haven’t worn but asked to be sent and three pairs are converse. I love converse shoes. My first pair was some high top flames that I had been coveting. I stupidly got rid of them a few years ago cause I got unwanted attention from wearing them at church a few times. I was only a teenager but was easily influenced. I think the last time I wore them was to my prom (which I still love that I did) and then got rid of them. They didn’t really go with anything anyway but I loved them still. I got a grey, purple and green pair at the moment. I used to wear them all the time back in St. Louis but then I wasn’t using my feet as my main point of transportation. They are not walking shoes at least the canvas Chuck Taylors aren’t. But I’ve also acquired two new pairs that I can’t live without. They are nice and I can just slip them on and wear them anywhere, dress up or down or just to put out the trash. So I’m beginning to wonder if I should get rid of my chucks. I hate the idea of doing so cause I once wanted to own a pair in every color. It might be one of the many things I asked to be sent back to me or a few things I ask Mike to bring with him at Christmas.
Then there’s a few other things. I got coffee mugs, figures, an antique musical jewelry box, a blanket that was my grandmother’s and I’ve had since she passed away 13 years ago but is falling apart terribly. I also got a ton of books I’ve acquired as well. I’ve tried hard not to buy books when I’ve been here but when I see a classic that’s on my list of books to read I end up buying it. I think I got the entire collection of Sherlock Holmes books for about £1.50. I have yet to read those because my list has become so long.
I think some of the mugs I’m just keeping here until I either come back for them or ask for them to be sent. My jewelry box I won’t be sure about until I go back home. I do have one more back to pack and I might find I have room for things like some photos or a few books. The shoes are just material things, I’m a lot different now than I used to be and might find I don’t miss them.
But my grandma’s blanket is another thing. I don’t know what to do. It is falling apart so I can’t really use it and I don’t think it’s even repairable. I stopped using it last year around this time because I realized I couldn’t keep washing it without it shedding more and more of its material. I’ve also gotten used to not having a small blanket handy when I get cold though it might be different when I go home. I wouldn’t mind a new one. It’s really hard to say at the moment. I do still have a week before I leave.
I booked my ticket and got my first class train ticket (I’m not dragging four things of luggage with me to fight for a seat in standard.) It really overwhelmed earlier just finding things I can pack now. Luckily I was home alone and could have a good cry. I haven’t really had a chance to cry. Last night and Friday while I was in bed I did well up but I couldn’t really let it out for fear of waking Mike. Leaving him or watching him go has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. I just want to stay with him and that be it. But we got about a year a part to deal with before the wedding and who knows how longer after we’re married. We need to meet certain requirements as far as immigration goes either way.
Anyway don’t mind me as I question what to do. I know things will get better I just need to allow myself to be upset. I don’t want to build it up. I also don’t think it’s truly hit me yet. At least I get Mike for Christmas 🙂
So I woke up this morning with my cat in my face. Nothing unusual of course. So I got up to feed her and made my way back to my room to turn on my computer. And boom an email from the UKBA. I held my breath as I opened it. It said, “Your UK Visa has been issued.” And I’m immediately filled with happiness and joy to the point I can feel tears welling up. I don’t think I have ever cried out of happiness before so this was a big moment. So what do I do first? Update facebook :p Cause I’m an addict. I don’t email my boyfriend, I don’t immediately email the school or my accommodation or even call my mother (though the thought did occur to me). So now I have done all but call my mom. I’ve looked up flights, unfortunately flying from St. Louis isn’t cheap. So I’m considering Chicago since that cuts the price in half. Now how to get to Chicago, I know my family offered to drive me there but it means canceling their plans for the weekend. I guess they won’t mind but who knows. I can also take a train but man the anticipation of that is nuts! That’s something I will have to discuss with my parents and my boyfriend. And I have to basically wait until the dang thing gets here or says when it will get here before I can go. But I figure what I can do is start packing (I already got out both my suitcases) and hope I can leave by this weekend and with no hitches. Oh and I made that chocolate cake a few days early. I think cause I knew it was gonna happen plus I had time over the weekend. Here’s a picture of my early celebration.
And ignore the coffee pot :p
So I keep thinking about what I’m gonna be bringing with me to England. Obviously I’m gonna be bringing clothes and some personal items. But I have so much stuff I want to bring. I have a couple of jewelry boxes that will probably have to stay though I have this antique piano jewelry box that I think I’ll have my parents ship me, that is if I can’t get it in my suitcases (yeah I’m gonna be bringing at least two and then two carry-ons). Then I think about what clothes I shouldn’t bring. I have so many hoodies, some I really don’t wear, a few months ago I went through my closet and got rid of a bunch of stuff including shoes and gave them to charity. I’m wondering if I’ll have to do that again. Then there is all the books I have. I have the entire collection of the Anne of Green Gables books and then a smaller series of LM Montgomery, as much as I want to bring those I think I’ll have to leave them here. Then there is all my knickknacks and photos. I have a few that I’m definitely bringing like these two cat figurines that my dad gave me for Christmas, and then the photos I have hanging up in my room. I have to decide what to do about my camera. My digital camera has the lens for the film one I used but that doesn’t actually belong to me. So I either have to buy a new lens or beg my mom to let me keep the lens and just leave the film camera which is kind of pointless. Then I have kitchen stuff that is mine. I figure to save me some money I’ll bring a few thing with me on my carry on, like a couple of mugs and glasses that are mine. I was just telling my boyfriend earlier that I think I’ll bring the thermometer I bought with me cause I’m sure I could use it. It’s just odd thinking about what part of my life I will have to leave behind and what I can bring with me.
My parents have offered to post stuff to me when I’m there. Don’t know what but I guess that will be figured out when I get to packing in August. The biggest thing that bothers me that I have to leave behind, are my cats. I take care of them and feed them and love them and currently I have one trying really hard to get my hand to pet her as I type. The older one has health problems that requires medicine and I know exactly what she needs and when she’s feeling bad. I worry that my mother will not understand what’s going on with her and miss something. The other one I know will be fine besides not having me for company. I kind of wonder how things will change around here as far as routine goes when I’m gone. The cats generally stay upstairs cause I’m here and cause the dogs won’t stay out of their stuff. But they’ll have to go downstairs if they want attention or want someone to know they’re hungry which I know won’t be a problem 🙂 Besides being worried about how they’ll adjust, I’ll miss them. I’ve had the older one since I was in 1st grade so she’s been there for everything. I guess I’ll just make the most of my time with them and hope that I can either bring them here after I’m done with school and/or come back to the states and make another home for us. Wow I guess I have a lot on my mind today. Until next time…