Settling Down

So I have gotten a lot done in the last week and I was starting to feel a little lazy! I’ve only been in the country two weeks and I thought I need to get a lot of stuff done but now I’ve mostly done it all! I’m not sure why I thought I wasn’t going to get much done seeing as I’m not working so I really have all the time in the world to do my errands and still chill out. I’ve been trying to get up with my husband when he’s getting up for work but there have been a few days where I’ve just barely opened my eyes as he gives me a kiss goodbye. I think a lot of it has to do with me still settling and getting my internal clock adjusted to the time zone. I’ve also bought some natural sleep aid to help calm my mind as well. It’s a mixture of being next to someone who can snore with cold weather and just getting comfortable. I’m used to only getting woken up to my parents getting ready for work and my cat who would want an early morning cuddle. Now I’m awaking up because one of us has rolled over or I am expecting his alarm clock to go off or I just can’t sleep. A few times I’ve had bad dreams where I’m back in a place I don’t want to be or I had to come home and now don’t have any money to get back to England and my husband. I know those will eventually settle down since sadly this is not the first time I’ve had to deal with weird dreams like that.

 

Anyhow what I’ve been doing since I am somewhat new to the country again is having to change a few things around. Now since this isn’t my first time living in England it was probably far easier than it should have been. What I’ve done this week besides work on my CV and chill out in the front room, has been phoning a few places to change some details around or get some information. I got a NI number a few years ago when I tried to apply for a job but was never able to work the job since the NI number came a lot later than they could wait for one. So what I did today instead of writing to them was to tell them a change in my personal detail which would be my name. I had all the information they needed in order to change it and it was simply “what was your name and what is your name now?” “Okay we’ll sent you info in the next week marking the change”. And then I had to call the old medical practice I went to in Leeds to get my NHS number since I had no idea what it was and the new practice I’m trying to register with (which I don’t have a registration appointment until the new year) has it as a requirement in filling out the forms so that was also quick and easy to do. Then today I went into town to change details with the bank I’m with and then get a library card from the local library. I was so freaking happy when I managed to get all this done by noon! So now all I’m waiting on is to finish my registration forms and go to my appointment and working on my CV so I can apply for jobs after Christmas/New Year. I worried it would all be a long hard process because well, the spouse visa was a long hard process why shouldn’t everything else be right? Now I did have someone I went to school with years ago tell me how he’s interested in my status updates since he has applied for a job in the UK. So if you’re reading this just let me tell you that if you do get the job, your employment should be the one getting you the NI Number but if they don’t you can find out more on it from gov.uk for the National Insurance Number. Now I’m not really sure how it works with getting a NHS number either but since you’ll be new the country they’ll probably apply for one for you from whatever practice you choose to register with but don’t quote me on that cause it could be different and I don’t know it. I’ve found looking on expat forums to be horrible because all the do is worry me more and tell me inaccurate information because every person and case is different when it comes to immigration and trying to get settled. I think I may have it easy since this isn’t my first time and I’m married to a British Citizen. I dread the day when I start taking driving lessons with a manual as well as on the left side of the road. But for now I’m happy to rely on my mother-in-law for a car ride or using the buses or trains or my own two feet to get me anywhere. (Taxis are special occasions when either the public transport is done for the night or it’s too far to get home on a bus).

So yeah I’m pretty settled now I think. We’re all getting used to each other and finding our own ways. Most mornings when Mike leaves I let the cat out and then sometimes let him in my room cause I miss my cuddling and the purring is very soothing. Sadly it does not work at night when we’re in bed cause there is most definitely not enough room for 3! Anyhow today is my husband’s birthday so I’m going to take advantage of the tv and PS4 while he’s still at work! 😉

Mix in the Good with the Bad

Things have been up and down lately.

I was hoping to post some photos I took of Fountains Abbey on Sunday but I haven’t edited them yet so it might be a bit before I do. But I got a lot on my mind that I just need to let out. On the job front I really thought I had a possible job but it’s starting to look like my last chance is going out the window because I never had a need for a national insurance number until now. It will be crunch time but hopefully I can get all the information they need as well as pass the tests to get a temporary job so I can actually buy my own plane ticket home as well as have a bit left over. But it’s starting to look like not only will I be going home sooner and poorer but not have any real kind of job.

Beyond that I did have some good personal news. We got the venue for the UK reception booked and we’re going to do our Save the Dates this weekend. We meant to start working on a budget but we were pretty busy last weekend and not really in the house. So sometime this week or over the weekend we will. The reception actually looks like a nice place, we like the feel of it and it looks nice.

But then last night I got some news that really threw me off. It was like getting sucker punched and then hit again for a knock out. One of my friends from back home who I’ve known for years and years had some bad news for me. A mutual friend who shall remain nameless has been accused of murder. It’s someone who has had a bit of a troubled past but one I didn’t know much about. I don’t know the motive or if there was one or if it was true. All I know was a guy that seemed genuinely nice and I gave a ride home a few times (he didn’t drive) is now in jail for murder. Based on some their past issues, if it’s true I don’t think they should go to jail but a psychiatric hospital. Now I’m not normally one who would generally be okay with this but I know this person is troubled and based on what he may have done, it’s got to be screwing with his head. My friend that told me this is going to see what he can do and I guess possibly talk to him. It’s just completely mind boggling.

Then he gave me some news of his own that just breaks my heart for him. He’s getting divorced and from the sound of it he will remain friends with the ex and try to see the kids as much as possible. But he’s having to move on from his current situation to another. I don’t know the circumstances of what happened but it makes me sad to see that this is happening to him. I am of course biased in the situation because he is my friend and I know he’s got to be hurt. But I know I can’t judge either since I wasn’t in the situation. It was honestly one of those situations where I thought it would work because I know how much of a decent guy he is. But even nice people get divorced. I’m not one that generally believes in ending a marriage unless there is abuse involved. I’m also probably one of many that wants to just grab hold and slap across the face one of many celebrities that rush into things and two seconds later things are over.

My fiance and I have talked before about if things ever ended for us then that’s it we would never get married again. Because we both don’t want that and in many ways we are insecure about the other based on past experiences. He’s had more than one girlfriend get bored with him. I think he still expects it with me sometimes but then he sees how I get when we talk about being separated from each other with the long distance (just the thought of it happening sooner today cause me to break down in tears) and we see how much we get along. We can be stupidly immature with each and laugh about it and there is no one else we have ever been able to do that with. I’m not one that generally believes in fate and destiny and such. I’m more of a “you choose your own destiny” kind of person and I wouldn’t have it any other way with him. I can still majorly crush on celebrities like Gerard Butler or Michael Fassbender and it doesn’t bother him and he can do likewise.

Anyhow I’m getting past the point I was wanting to make about my friend. He’ll find someone, that right person that is for him. He’s still young and he’s already got plans for his new situation so he’s a lot better off then someone with no plan. His situation as well as the other thing that happen makes it hard for me to be happy about plans with Mike. Because in my ideal world everything is happy and great and hunky dory. But in the real world it doesn’t happen that way.

So I might have go home soon. I am looking forward to it in a lot of ways but I’m also going to miss being around Mike so much. At least we’ll get Christmas together. That’s a positive way to look at it.