For those that have been interested in my blog I really do thank you. However I’m not happy with wordpress anymore. I loved it 11 years ago when I first started the blog and when I was a student in the UK. But the format is not for me anymore. I find it too confusing to use. I actually use word to write and edit most of my blogs and then add them on here once its finished. The editing process on this really isn’t nice. Also my URL is outdated. I’m not a photography page like I orginally planned. I do add photos but its more than just photography.
So I looked at other blog spaces to see what I could do. And I think I found the one I wanted. I’ve already created the page. I’m working on my first blog post there. I already prefer it. So if you enjoyed following me on here, please continue following me on
I have the URL I wanted and it can match my Youtube page and what I have called this page for years. I’m hoping I’ll get better with updating my blog as well but I use so many social platforms. I’m mostly on Tiktok and Instagram with updating as much as I can on YouTube and here.
I’ll keep this blog up for anyone that happens to find me and wishes to see where I go with this.
Right I think this is the last platform I haven’t shared this news on and I figured I better do it soon!
For the month of April I will be running 26 miles to raise money for Miles for Moggies which is for Cats Protection. A UK based charity that helps cats throughout the UK.
Last year when I rescued TT, I first went to Cats Protection for help. They were able to give me a voucher to have him neutered and while they couldn’t lend me a trap due to Covid, they directed me to other possibilities. That’s how I got the trap from the RSPCA and RSPCA stepped in with paying for TT’s care for his eye and when he had a bladder infection from stress.
When I was looking after Tom Tucker last year.Tommy boy with his dad these days!
Soon I will be contacting Cats Protection again, for help with another cat. I have named him Dude. He’s a rather friendly but scared cat that keeps coming into my garden. I shared online about him in the hopes to find his owner. But there’s been no one coming forward and the more time I spend with him, the more I think he’s either lost or abandoned. He’s not neutered so its possible he wandered away from home. He’s dirty as well. But once he started trust me oh does he love pets! He’s also a big fan of catnip and thanking me for food with cute chirps and meows. He’s not aggressive either. He’s curious about my cats and will follow them around but he won’t attack them. Mogs has hissed at him more than once and he just looks confused as to what he could have done to upset her. He has come inside a few times as the weather hasn’t been great to eat and he gets so scared and unsure. I approach him and he tries to run away. I don’t know if because he’s in an unfamiliar environment or because he has known cruelty. I hate to think such a sweet cat would be abused.
I’ve tried to paper collar him as well in case maybe he has an owner that isn’t online, but Dude is not having it with the idea of a collar. I’m thankful when the weather has been bad that he’ll use the cat cabins we have in our garden to sleep. Though I wonder where he goes when he’s not in them as he doesn’t spend all his time in the garden. I know someone has told me she finds him sleeping in her garden on the next street to us.
So, my next plan of action is to call Cats Protection and see what they can do or suggest. I’ll get him to a vet to check for a microchip to see if he’s lost. I do plan to get him neutered too though not sure when in that process. I just know I’m not letting this cat stay outside forever if I can help it. Because he’s so friendly and because I don’t have a free room in the house, I don’t have any plans to trap him. I think I can easily get him in a carrier with food though we shall see.
My newest visitor, Dude.
Back to the running though before I get anymore side-tracked! From the 1st of April to 30th April, I will run 26 miles. My currently plan of action is to run on Thursday for the first one then starts again on Monday but then continue to run Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to complete the miles. I average about 2-2.4 miles at the moment which should get me to 26 miles before the month is out. I’ll regularly update my GoFundMe page as well that I have my donations set up on.
I’ll post the link down below too so if you are interested in donating or following the journey. I’ll regularly update my social media accounts too. But I’m asking if you could be so kind as to donate and if you can’t share my story and my plans with your friends and family and on your social media platforms. I’m trying to raise £200 currently though if I could pass my goal that would be awesome. But I’ll focus on the current target that I’m at 42% of meeting as of today.
Anyway, thank you for reading and please visit the link below. I also have it in my link tree.
Also, if you can help me reach £200 maybe I’ll add a little challenge to my running to make it more interesting too!
I know I’m not the only one in the UK or Europe for that matter that is struggling. Mental Health has been a serious struggle to keep on an even keel. And for myself personally I have a lot that can get me down. But I try my best to focus on the positives and what’s in my control.
I thought I’d write this post for anyone that’s struggling right now whether its related to Covid or you’re just having a hard time in general. I’ll tell you what helps me as it might be something that will help you too.
Meditate
There are so many apps out there now that help assist with meditating. I used to be someone who thought you had to sit crossed legged and empty your mind of everything in order to meditate but its a lot more simple than that. You don’t have to do it for hours on end either. I usually do it for 10 minutes, if I don’t have a lot of time 3-5 minutes will do. I use Headspace, have done for years but I also know there’s an app called Calm and there’s even free videos on YouTube that you can use to help guide you in meditation. I try to meditate every day. Some days are harder to remember than others and that’s okay. As long as you work on a habit of learning to meditate. Take a few minutes either in the morning, at night or during a commute (if you’re not driving!) or during lunch. If you have less structure throughout the day then pair it with something you do every day, like if you have a warm drink first thing, meditate after you’ve finished your drink. Believe it or not it can really help improve things on mental side. In 2015 when I first started getting help for my anxiety, I started to use meditation. It gradually improved my mood, and I would be less irritable and anxious. If I’d forget for a few days to meditate I could really tell as I’d be moodier and have trouble with negative thoughts.
2. Journal writing
This is something I started doing when I sought out help for my anxiety and stress. The counsellor told me to keep an anxiety journal to write in everyday and write out everything that was bothering me. It helped me keep track of what was going on in my life and what my worries were. But I also felt better writing out my troubles. I’d sometimes come up with various solutions to my problems and helped me to understand what I was going through. I did it do it every day for a long time but when I noticed I was less anxious and not having as many troubles I started only keeping a journal when I was having a hard time.
3. Have a trusted group of friends/family you can confide in.
Having emotional and mental support is so important especially since the pandemic started. We’re so much more isolated now and we can’t physically interact with as many people as we did before. So, having someone you can chat to online or by phone is really important. It can also be good for that other person if you’re a good listener. If you can’t chat with anyone, try to look for some kind of support group. There’s plenty out there online that can be good for you and the particular problems you might be going through. I do this sometimes especially as I am more isolated now than before the pandemic.
4. Exercise
I used to think this was a bit strange, but it really does work! Just going out for a walk or doing an energetic video inside really gets the blood pumping but it also can take your mind off things and boost serotonin. I try to go for a walk most days and if I stay in, I’ll do yoga or aerobic exercises. I especially like the ones that you can dance in as its a lot of fun. Even if the walk is only around the block, it can do wonders if you just pay attention to the sun shining and nature just doing its thing.
5. Counselling
Talking to a professional when you are truly struggling to cope is a good thing. I know financially its not always possible. I’m lucky I live somewhere that makes it more accessible. However, there are other ways to get help if paying out of pocket is an issue. If you work for an organisation that take mental health seriously, speak to a mental health rep or a manager to see how they can connect you. Go to a charity that may help get you free or discounted therapy. In the UK there’s several of them like Mind UK or Anxiety UK (I’ve previously used them). If you work in a certain sector, there’s charities out there they offer advice as well that’s not just about mental health.
6. Don’t be afraid to ask or reach out for help.
The worst thing you can do is just bottle it up and ignore your problems. I know as I did it for years. I thought anxiety needed to be ignored because it was bad. It only got worst though. I also know the less I spoke up the more likely I was to either internalize the pain and hurt or I’d have an outburst feel worst for taking it out on someone else. I first sought out help in 2015 because I ended up bursting into tears at work for not meeting a quota for bookings. I was being so hard on myself and felt like a failure. It wasn’t the best job for me and didn’t suit me at all but luckily, I sought out help with support from work. In 2017 I was struggling again; this time depression was having a heavy hit on me. I was so unhappy with my current situation and struggling to communicate what was going on with me. When I started having thoughts of self-harm and suicide, I knew I needed to seek out help. So once again I told my family and work what was going on with me and went to the doctor. For years I wouldn’t take medication because of the stigma of it. But I’d reached a point where I was willing to give anything a try. I’m still on medication for depression and anxiety. I can honestly say that it helps me to feel like a normal person. It’s taken time to understand myself and why my mind works the way it does. But I’ve learned I can’t keep it all to myself especially now.
I’m an open person when it comes to my mental health struggles because it does help others to know they’re not alone. There’s also one thing I think is important to say, there is nothing wrong with having mental health issues whether it be anxiety, stress, depression, or something else. Its just one part of yourself and only you can decide how big of a part it is in your life. My name is Lisa, I have anxiety and depression. But I also am a very neat and organised person. I like to go for long walks, read books and obsess over cats and enjoy baking and find ways to be creative. I love my friends and family with all my heart and would do just about anything for them. I hate being bored and feel like I’m on a lifelong mission to keep myself entertained.
See, what I did there? There is so much more to me than just the mental health issues.
All these things I’ve mentioned will help you cope, but it won’t cure it. As much as it sucks to have these issues, its best to understand why you do and what works for you to live your day-to-day life as normal as possible. Accepting yourself for who you are isn’t easy but its possible to do it. You will have good days and bad days, just take it a day at a time or even a moment at a time.
Also don’t let anyone make you feel less of a person for having mental health issues. That kind of toxic behaviour needs to be kicked out the door.
Hope this has helped anyone who has been struggling lately. I know this third lockdown has made it pretty hard lately, but I try to follow my own advice and work on what I can control in this situation to get through.
I thought I’d write a post on why I started running. A few years ago, I
thought I’d give running a try after talking it out with a therapist as far as
ways to get my exercise in and to help elevate my mood. I found it difficult to
really know how to start and when to give myself breaks. I’d run home after
work (in my work clothes with a backpack on) as it was downhill for a good way
and I was excited to get home to my kitten Marcey. I couldn’t tell you why I
stopped. I think I hurt myself in some way and needed to recover and then never
got back into it. For the last year I’ve been on a journey to better myself.
One of those ways is my health. I decided I’d eventually give running a try again,
but I wanted to get my fitness up before I did it. I downloaded Couch to 5K app
as well as Noom. Noom I’ve been using for about a year now. Noom has been great
to get my life back on track and create a healthy relationship with food and my
body. I found with the right exercise that I enjoy being active. I’d create little
goals to complete each week whether it be to eat more of certain foods, not
have loads of sweets. Or it’d go to exercise in some way, increase my step
count and try to do 10,000 steps so many days a week. So far, I can manage
about 3 days a week but as long as I exercise 5 days a week it doesn’t matter.
I also give myself mental breaks and allow myself to relax and take days off
from exercise and pushing myself to be healthy. If I slip up, I just get right
back to it the next day.
Over the summer I made a small goal with myself that I’d start running at
the park by my house and try to run 3 laps without stopping. I’d see if I could
do it in 6 weeks’ time. I didn’t end up starting that week though. I think
within the next week or so my group coach on my Noom app said to plan to do a
new activity. So, I started running with the couch to 5k app. About 8-9 months
after I downloaded it. I started off running 3 days a week and as per the app’s
suggestion and gradually built up my running and stamina. Somewhere around week
4 or 5 I found myself stressed out though. The in-between days of running I was
meant to be resting but I kept doing my walking as I wanted to keep my exercise
Monday to Friday with a possible bonus day on the weekend. My thighs weren’t
fully recovered by the time I’d get to my next run day and while it was fine
during the run, I’d get to a point where even with stretches it was painful to
move around and I was so tired. I talked it over with my goal specialist on
Noom and said how I was worried about injuring myself. I started looking into
advice with running and watched a few videos of others who have done couch to
5k and advice for running in colder weather. So that week I took off after only
running twice. I also thought about why I had to run Monday to Friday. There
was no real reason why. I still saw Saturday and Sunday as my weekend even
though I’ve been unemployed the whole time. I did like that it was quiet during
the week, but I thought maybe I should allow myself a day off during the week
if I felt I needed it and just make sure to do something over the weekend.
So, I ended up going back to week 3 and repeated that for 2 weeks then went
to week 4. I can’t remember now if I repeated week 4 as well but by the time, I
got to week 5 I was doing a lot better. I also changed my running to every two
days during the week as I preferred running at the park during the week. It
ended up being that I’d run Mondays and Thursdays or Tuesdays and Fridays
depending on what day I’d start running. At the end of week 5 was my first 20-minute
run with no stopping. With Couch to 5k you would have breaks that would be
prompted by my running coach on the app. This was the first time of running
with no breaks. I worried if I’d be able to do it. But I also kept worrying
about if I’d be able to do the increased running each time that happened too
and I felt so good afterwards and proud of myself for making it. So, I just
paced myself as I was taught to do. And I noticed something big on this run. I
not only ran 3 laps without stopping, but I also ran 6 laps without stopping!
I’d completed my goal! It felt like a big win. I didn’t care if I didn’t do it
in the time I set out to do it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned with my focus
on my health is that time is not a problem. As long as I complete my goals and continue
with things, I’m happy.
This week I’m on week 6 for the third time. I started week 6 just before
Christmas but I found the second run was quite rough for some reason, so I
allowed myself to stay on week 6 for a bit before moving on. I also noticed
that my legs are a lot strong now and wonder if I can handle running 3 days a
week again. So Wednesday I’m going to attempt to run for 25 minutes straight
and see how I am by Friday. I’m enjoying kind of experimenting with my exercise
and routine to see what works best for me.
I’ve also ordered some trail running shoes. I first decided to order them
for when there’s ice and snow on the ground so I can still run. I run in the
cold and rain just fine, so I thought it best to prepare for running in snow.
I’m going to change up my running route as well. I’m hoping to start running in
the fields and bridleways by my house. I like the scenery and it will be a nice
change of pace. I was also thinking eventually running on the roads by my house
but beyond running to town I’m not sure where else to go. This past Friday the
park I run at was closed due to a police incident so I decided to run near the
house and found it is a lot hillier than I realised and I just can’t quite
handle that. I can do a bit of hill but one of the roads would have been uphill
the whole time which is too difficult for me. Though it might be a future goal.
I know of another park I could run to or run in that I also like to visit for walks
and to hang out with friends.
Anyway, I titled this post about why I run. There are several reasons. If
you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know of a little bit. At the end of 2019 I
weighed over 300 pounds. I never wanted to weigh that much and here I was at
309. This is also the first time I’m openly talking about my actual weight
online. Currently I weigh in at 281. It has been slow going but I’d rather it
was slow going and easy to keep off than fast going and then I fall back into
old habits and quickly gain the weight back. Something I did when I was 18 and
19 and nowhere at the weight I am now. But believe it or not, I’m not actually
running to help me lose weight. My decision to run was just to get myself to do
it and now it’s to get myself to stick to it. I won’t complain if it helps me
lose weight though! I’ve found I enjoy the energy I get as well from running
and while I might be sore and achy as well, I can get more stuff done around
the house. I like the way I’ve built up my fitness and stamina as well. I
sometimes do aerobic exercises and dance exercises and ones that I once thought
were too intense I can easily keep up with now. I also like running to enjoy
nature and get out of the house and be alone in my head. Because I am focusing
on the running, I’m not distracted by all the things I need to get done and can
just feel a bit of peace. I run also to prove that you can be healthy and big.
I know there are others out there that think being plus size means you are lazy
and I’m just one of many to prove that wrong. I’m also here to prove that I
love myself for who I am right now. Not who I want to be. So, my running is an
act of self-love and self-care.
Anyway, that’s it for today. I hope my post encouraged you in some way. I’m
more than willing to talk more about my journey to a healthier me and give any
advice or tips. Though I am by no means an expert and every person is
different, I don’t mind sharing what I know.
Until next time…
So I thought I’d write a post on why I started running. A few years ago I thought I’d give running a try after talking it out with a therapist as far as ways to get my exercise in and to help elevate my mood. I found it difficult to really know how to start and when to give myself breaks. I’d run home after work (in my work clothes with a backpack on) as it was downhill for a good ways and I was excited to get home to my kitten Marcey. I couldn’t tell you why I stopped. I think I hurt myself in some way and needed to recover and then never got back into it. For the last year I’ve been on a journey to better myself. One of those ways is my health. I decided I’d eventually give running a try again but I wanted to get my fitness up before I did it. I downloaded Couch to 5K app as well as Noom. Noom I’ve been using for about a year now. Noom has been great to get my life back on track and create a healthy relationship with food and my body. I found with the right exercise that I enjoy being active. I’d create little goals to complete each week whether it be to eat more of certain foods, not have loads of sweets. Or it’d go to exercise in some way, increase my step count and try to do 10,000 steps so many days a week. So far I can manage about 3 days a week but as long as I exercise 5 days a week it doesn’t matter. I also give myself mental breaks and allow myself to relax and take days off from exercise and pushing myself to be healthy. If I slip up, I just right back to it the next day.
Over the summer I made a small goal with myself that I’d start running at the park by my house and try to run 3 laps without stopping. I’d see if I could do it in 6 weeks time. I didn’t end up starting that week though. I think within the next week or so my group coach on my Noom app said to make a plan to do a new activity. So I started running with the couch to 5k app. About 8-9 months after I downloaded it. I started off running 3 days a week and as per the app’s suggestion and gradually built up my running and stamata. Somewhere around week 4 or 5 I found myself stressed out though. The inbetween days of running I was meant to be resting but I kept doing my walking as I wanted to keep my exercise Monday to Friday with a possible bonus day on the weekend. My thighs weren’t fully recovered by the time I’d get to my next run day and while it was fine during the run, I’d get to a point where even with stretches it was painful to move around and I was so tired. I talked it over with my goal specialist on Noom and said how I was worried about injuring myself. I started looking into advice with running and watched a few videos of others who have done couch to 5k and advice for running in colder weather. So that week I took off after only running twice. I also thought about why I had to run Monday to Friday. There was no real reason why. I still saw Saturday and Sunday as my weekend even though I’ve been unemployed the whole time. I did like that it was quiet during the week but I thought maybe I should allow myself a day off during the week if I felt I needed it and just make sure to do something over the weekend.
So I ended up going back to week 3 and repeated that for 2 weeks then went to week 4. I can’t remember now if I repeated week 4 as well but by the time I got to week 5 I was doing a lot better. I also changed my running to every two days during the week as I preferred running at the park during the week. It ended up being that I’d run Mondays and Thursdays or Tuesdays and Fridays depending on what day I’d start running. At the end of week 5 was my first 20 minute run with no stopping. With Couch to 5k you would have breaks that would be prompted by my running coach on the app. This was the first time of running with no breaks. I worried if I’d be able to do it. But I also kept worrying about if I’d be able to do the increased running each time that happened too and I felt so good afterwards and proud of myself for making it. So I just paced myself as I was taught to do. And I noticed something pretty big on this run. I not only ran 3 laps without stopping, I ran 6 laps without stopping! I’d actually completed my goal! It felt like a big win. I didn’t care if I didn’t do it in the time I set out to do it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned with my focus on my health is that time is not a problem. As long as I complete my goals and and continue with things, I’m happy.
This week I’m on week 6 for the third time. I started week 6 just before Christmas but I found the second run was quite rough for some reason so I allowed myself to stay on week 6 for a bit before moving on. I also noticed that my legs are a lot strong now and wonder if I can handle running 3 days a week again. So Wednesday I’m going to attempt to run for 25 minutes straight and see how I am by Friday. I’m enjoying kind of experimenting with my exercise and routine to see what works best for me.
I’ve also ordered some trail running shoes. I first decided to order them for when there’s ice and snow on the ground so I can still run. I run in the cold and rain just fine so I thought it best to prepare for running in snow. I’m actually going to change up my running route as well. I’m hoping to start running in the fields and bridleways by my house. I like the scenery and it will be a nice change of pace. I was also thinking eventually running on the roads by my house but beyond running to town I’m not sure where else to go. This past Friday the park I run at was closed due to a police incident so I decided to run near the house and found its a lot more hilly than I realised and I just can’t quite handle that. I can do a bit of hill but one of the roads would have been uphill the whole time which is too difficult for me. Though it might be a future goal. I know of another park I could run to or run in that I also like to visit for walks and to hang out with friends.
Anyway I titled this post about why I run. There are a number of reasons. If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know of a little bit. At the end of 2019 I weighed over 300 pounds. I never wanted to weigh that much and here I was at 309. This is also the first time I’m openly talking about my actual weight online. Currently I weigh in at 281. It has been slow going but I’d rather it was slow going and easy to keep off than fast going and then I fall back into old habits and quickly gain the weight back. Something I did when I was 18 and 19 and no where at the weight I am now. But believe it or not, I’m not actually running to help me lose weight. My decision to run was just to get myself to do it and now its to get myself to stick to it. I won’t complain if it helps me lose weight though! I’ve found I enjoy the energy I get as well from running and while I might be sore and achey as well, I can get more stuff done around the house. I like the way I’ve built up my fitness and stamita as well. I sometimes do arobetic exercises and dance exercises and ones that I once thought were too intense I can easily keep up with now. I also like running to enjoy nature and get out of the house and be alone in my head. Because I am focusing on the running I’m not distracted by all the things I need to get done and can just feel a bit of peace. I run also to prove that you can be healthy and big. I know there are others out there that think being plus size means you are lazy and I’m just one of many to prove that wrong. I’m also here to prove that I love myself for who I am right now. Not who I want to be. So my running is an act of self-love and self-care.
Anyway that’s it for today. I hope my post encouraged you in some way. I’m more than willing to talk more about my journey to a healthier me and give any advice or tips. Though I am by no means an expert and every person is different, I don’t mind sharing what I know.
Until next time…
I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions. I think in a lot of ways its just sets yourself up for failure. Plans for the year though with the idea that they could evolve or change over time is much more my cup of tea. I started this last year. I knew around Christmas time I was way too big and that something needed to change. But I was stressed out from my job and finishing it and looking for a new job to really focus on it until the new year. I was also needing to focus on getting my permanent residency sorted out as time was nearly up.
But I still made getting my health a priority. I started using Noom and I was only intending to try it out and maybe do Slimming World, but I found I really liked Noom and how it wasn’t some secret diet plan. It was just helping me to understand what worked best for me and what I wanted to change and make a priority. I didn’t make huge changes at first. I just made a goal to lose 25 pounds. And just made tiny changes to create habits. I think my first goal was to work out at least 3 days a week and drink my daily water intake. I eventually got to a point where I was working out nearly every day, losing weight, drinking my water, eating my fruit and veg and getting my steps in. I eventually scaled back working out about 5 days a week because I realised, I was putting too much pressure on myself to be active and move around and not try to relax a bit.
But it was all through this that I learned to listen to my body more and what worked for me and what I could handle. So, with that, I want to share my plans for this year and try to make it as positive and achievable as possible.
Get a job, at the very least a part time job.
Learn Japanese, I have already started and I’m finding understanding it from a written point of view with the Kanji, Katakana, Hiragana alphabet works better than trying to only speak it. Memorising the characters will help me to speak it when I see it written down.
Continue to focus on my health with working out and eating healthy and trying to lose another 25 pounds.
Look into Skillshare and maybe sign up to learn some different skills like with baking and maybe other Japanese stuff and video editing.
Do more with my blog and with YouTube.
Try to get my finances in order, while being unemployed does make this difficult it does help me to prioritise what needs to be focused on and what is most important first.
Look at volunteer opportunities
At this point this is what I’m thinking of doing. Some of this could be done over the next year, some might take time. With the situation with Covid I know it will make getting a job and volunteering difficult, but I’ll still try. But doing stuff with SkillShare and learning Japanese and blogging/vlogging will keep me occupied in the meantime. I might decide I want to do more in future as well so this list could be added to or I could decide I’ve put too much on my plate.
Anyway, that is what I’m planning on this year. Is there anything you plan to do in 2021?
So, I have lived in England quite a few years to have learned differences between England and American when it comes to Christmas traditions. Now the traditions I will talk about have more to do with my family as a white middle class family. My family has Irish and German roots as well so there will likely be some similarities, I’m not aware of. I know even in America there are different cultures as well as in the UK. So, I’m kind of just putting this out there was a disclaimer!
Christmas in the US-Growing up
At Christmas time in Missouri my family would split our time between my two grandparents, my material and paternal. It would change year to year, but Christmas Eve would be with one family and Christmas day would be with another. Over the years it would change up a bit, sometimes my paternal grandparents would be traveling so we would get together early. After moving to a different house that was more suited to their traveling needs we’d do things just a bit different then too but what I’ll talk about are the early years when I was under the age of 10.
At my maternal grandparent’s house, the entire family would be there. That would be my family which considered of my parents, myself and my two older brothers. Then there was my aunt, her husband and two sons (my cousins) and my three uncles and whoever they were dating as well as my grandparents, gradually this changed over the years as my uncles settled down and had their own kids. Sometimes my great aunt and uncle would come and so would distant cousins I knew as well other cousins that lived in a different state, I remember only one Christmas seeing these out of town cousins and wondering who they were as they were playing with Legos in my grandparents bedroom but it was such a fun Christmas. We played in the basement for hours and my older cousins and brothers decided to create a horror house for us younger kids. My brothers and my older cousin Jeremy were the hidden monster in the laundry room. I also remember two of the oldest girls taking us in there and warning us of the monster, then turning off the light as we screamed our heads off huddling together!
Going to my grandma’s house is what we would do every year until I was about 12 and then we would go from different aunts and uncles houses and once or twice our own. My grandmother passed away not long after my 13th birthday, so Christmas changed a lot as far as a set location each year. I was also at a point where I was less connected to the adults and very different from my brothers and two male cousins, so I started taking music and books to the gatherings for a few years and being less involved with talking to others or playing. I vaguely remember going to my grandparents’ house once more as a teenager for Christmas after my grandma’s passing, but it was a lot different with my uncles, aunt and mom doing all the planning and decorating. I now have loads more cousins younger than me (and strangely enough I think the girls outnumber the boys now!). But it took me years to realise I was so withdrawn because I missed the magic my grandma would bring to Christmas. Everyone tried I think to recapture it but her not being there was at least for me, the part I wanted most.
I loved Christmas at my grandma’s. It was her favourite holiday and she always outdid herself. She would have a Christmas tree in the front sitting area of the house. It was not the living room but just an open area where guests could be entertained and there was a dining table as well. She would have various decorations as well, but the tree was what I remembered most. The breakfast area next to the kitchen would hold all the food. We would have a potluck style meal where everyone brought a dish that was discussed and agreed upon before the date and the turkey or ham would be done by my grandma. We would all eat in various spots in the house, on the floor or on the couch in the living room, at the dining table or at the coffee table by the Christmas tree. Whether it was Christmas Day or Christmas Eve we’d come to grandma’s afternoon/early evening and stay until late. I would usually be half asleep going home after wearing myself out running around and eating food. The kids usually spent part of the evening down in the basement that was partly finished. There was a built-in bar that I do not think was ever in use, a ping pong table, and a few weights that my uncles used (a few of them still lived at home in the early years). I remember one year running laps round and round the ping pong table with one of my mom’s cousins filming it. I was convinced I ran about 500 laps.
There were a few years as well where I think one of my uncles or maybe my cousin Jeremy had a Sega Genesis and Mortal Combat and Street Fighter were played by my brothers and cousins and when they were made to share, played by me too. Sometimes American Football would be on and all the guys would be watching it. Gift opening would be in the front area that everyone would gather at. From what I remembered all the kids would open theirs at the same time. We did not have to take turns like I did at my paternal grandparent’s house which is extremely hard for a kid to do when you’re excited to see what you have. There was always shouts of joy by all us kids with our gifts. After gifts and food there were board games like Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit would be played but I didn’t participate much until I was older since it all just went over my head. We would all be happy and leave the house full of Christmas joy and food into the cold winter night. Whenever I think about what I miss from home at Christmas, it is always the feeling I’d get at my grandma’s. I would be happy, full of love and safe with my family. If it were Christmas Eve the only thing, I’d be more excited about was the possibility of what Santa might bring.
The last Christmas at my grandparents; myself, my grandpa and my mom
My brother Chris, our cousins Jeremy and Nathan
The Christmas tree my family put up at my grandparents.
First Christmas at my grandparents after grandma’s passing. I was very much into the Backstreet Boys and had been surprised with a concert ticket. My dad in the background looking rather sleepy!
Christmas at my paternal grandparents who I called Nana and Papa was a bit different. I would say it be more formal and far quieter, my dad’s side of the family was a lot smaller. Though I still loved it when my Papa answered the door, he had a bear hug at the ready with lots of back slapping and smiles. At their house it would be my family of 5, my aunt, her husband, and my cousin Chelsea. From my memory I think sometimes my great grandparents would be there too when they were alive. We would gather in the living room which had a lovely fireplace usually with a fire going. There would be a bowl of nuts to crack, I never understood how the nutcracker worked as a kid and how my dad and papa were able to use it easily but I did learn early on that I did NOT like walnuts. We would spend time in the living room, usually the adults talking while Christmas dinner was made. I want to say we also brought a dish here, but I was too young to notice. I do remember being rather bored though, my grandparents didn’t have too many games for kids. And while my cousin and I would have countless sleepovers here and play dress up and Cinderella with my grandma, that was only during sleep overs. I do remember playing Chinese Checkers when I got older with my mom and grandma and possibly my aunt. Other times my cousin and I would sneak off to one of the guest bedrooms and just talk for hours. We spent a great deal of time together growing up but when I became a teenager, we saw each other less so we would relish getting our time together to talk.
Once dinner was served, we would all sit in the dining room with my grandad on one end and my dad on the other. I’d usually be sat between my mom and my Nana. The meal always started off with a prayer said by my Papa and then we would pass dishes around for everyone to have a bit of. This wasn’t too different from a family meal we’d have there at any other time of year. Because I was so young, I’d usually have my plate filled for me. When I got older and could fill my plate myself, I’d have dishes I didn’t want forced upon my plate by my Nana so you could say I still had my plate filled for me!
After the meal we would go into the sitting area that the Christmas Tree was in. This room also held a pipe organ that my grandmother played. She was quite musical, I remember she had a piano, an electric keyboard, the pipe organ and guitars and I think a uckele. I cannot recall if my Papa played the guitar at all, but I know my grandma played the piano and organ at the church she attended. With Christmas gifts we’d be in the sitting room and each person would pick a present and we’d take turns opening. It was awfully hard on us kids as we just wanted to tear through our presents and didn’t care what anyone else got. But Nana and Papa were strict on only one person at a time taking a turn. Though I think a few times us kids were like, to hell with that and opened them at the same time. There is one other memory of a tradition I recall that me and my cousin Chelsea used to compete on. My grandma had a pickle ornament. The tradition was, that whoever found the pickle ornament first, was the first person to open a present. I don’t think my brothers cared from what I remember but I remember me and my cousin trying to find it first. Because I was taller, I usually won! After presents it would vary. Sometimes we’d go in the basement and my Papa would show us his latest slides he developed (he was a hobby photographer who also had his own dark room in the basement). If he had nothing new to show us, we’d go back into the living room. I can recall learning a bit about dominos though nothing that retains now and playing either Chinese checkers or normal checkers and even the occasional card game. The TV was never on at times like these which I think in hindsight that was a good thing. In later years, when my grandparents moved to a new house, we’d sometimes change up where we had Christmas, and when. My grandparents didn’t like to be in Missouri during the winter and if they were not traveling, they’d be in Florida with their mobile home and we’d meet earlier in November for our Christmas time.
Christmas morning with my family was usually the same. I would get up as early as I could to open presents. I do remember waiting for my family a few times and getting very impatient that everyone was not up at 6am with me! I’d certainly like to know how I managed to get up all the time as a kid for Saturday cartoons and Christmas but not now as an adult! The first thing that me and my brothers would usually open would be the presents we got in our stockings. We’d each have a stocking hanging on the shelf above the TV that we’d take down and go through, little chocolates, candy canes and small wrapped presents like socks or little toys would fit in the stocking. We’d all tear through our presents under the tree. I remember one year; I could have sworn I heard Santa in the middle of the night, and I went downstairs to find all the presents there. One toy I recall begging my dad to get me and being on the ground throwing a tantrum over was under the tree. It was a doll that if you kissed the cheek a little heart would appear. I wish I could remember it beyond that. But I of course tore into that toy and fell asleep cuddling the toy on the couch until the next morning where my family discovered I helped myself to it. There was another year that Santa gave me a letter ornament that was addressed to me and said it came directly from Santa. I still have that ornament to this day and continue to hang it on my Christmas tree in the UK. It’s a reminder of all the excitement and magic I felt then.
Our Christmas Tree at home
My nephew giving me a present
My nephew Michael at my uncles
My nephews Dayton and Talon opening gifts.
One Christmas I got an Addy Doll from American Girls. She was my favourite in the book series.
Now that’s been Christmas for me at least growing up. Potluck with my mom’s family, Santa Claus and having a stocking full of presents as well as larger presents. The main things that changed growing up was I got more involved in making food to bring and I’d bring a dessert no matter what was agreed upon because I loved to bake. I’d also get involved in the Christmas gifts with wrapping and watching others open gifts. I certainly understood more of the joy of watching someone open a present you picked out for them.
Christmas in the UK
To start with, I don’t know of anyone that I’ve met who that gets the point of a potluck. I have no idea if that was just something my grandma’s family did or is what some Americans do. I much prefer if you are having a large gathering, having each person chip in to bring a homemade dish, not just put it all on one person to make. However, in the UK whoever is hosting Christmas is usually also the one doing all the cooking. It’s traditional to have turkey as well since Thanksgiving isn’t a thing (obviously). Whereas in the states it could be turkey or a honey roast ham. Personally, I prefer a honey roast ham. It’s just so delicious! Thankfully, my husband agrees with me and for several years we’d usually opted to do a different kind of roast (Harry Biker’s Honey-glazed gammon anyone?).
Christmas in the US is also more of a religious celebration but anyone in the UK can celebrate Christmas as its secular. Now there’s still Midnight Mass for anyone that wants to be part of that, but I know of some people who are Sheik and celebrate Christmas. It’s always about the food and the presents and just having a nice time with family.
Christmas dinner which can be at lunch or “teatime” also involves Christmas Crackers. This is a cylinder object that is twisted at each end. You and another person pull either end and it “cracks” open with one person getting the goodies inside the cracker and the other person just holding an end piece. Inside each cracker is a paper crown, a joke card and a little toy or object. You put the crown on and ask the joke to which everyone tries to guess the punchline. The toy or object is usually a cheap mini version of something. Nothing usually, you care too much about. But its a lot of fun and the pop from the cracker is a huge amount of anticipation (think party poppers).
Me demonstrating a Christmas hat
My husband Mike wearing a Christmas hat
There is also quite a large amount of people who book Christmas dinner at restaurants instead of making their own food. It is certainly a lot easier, though you must book months in advance if you want to have a spot guaranteed. There have been a couple years we went out for a curry which has been lovely and still felt Christmassy, even if some of my colleagues thought my family and I were nuts! One thing I have noticed at least with my family is how quiet Christmas is. We are such a small family and while my husband’s family has gotten together for Christmas in the past, we certainly do it far less. A lot of family also lives all over the place such as my sister-in-law and her family live four hours away so I’ve yet to experience a Christmas with them. My mother-in-law also told me she would not decorate until after my husband’s birthday which is a week before Christmas because she didn’t want to take the focus away from her birthday (early December) as well as my husband’s. As I am the main decorator now, I don’t wait until after his birthday though I have learned now not to do it so early, mainly because Marcey is such a little devil with the tree!
Christmas Tree in the town centre
Marcey last Christmas testing the waters
My husband Mike and I with our cat Grey one year. His expression kills me.
Showing off my decorations one year.
Differences between an American Christmas and an English Christmas
Santa/Father Christmas: It is Father Christmas, not Santa though its more common now to say Santa than say 20 years ago.
Lapland/North Pole: Father Christmas is from Lapland not the North Pole and you can also visit Lapland! When I discovered this, I really wanted to go on a Lapland holiday!
Do not Open Before Christmas: You cannot open presents before Christmas. There is a new trend of having a Christmas Eve box where you can open whatever is put in the box. I knew someone who did it with had matching Christmas jammies with their kid and a Christmas film which I thought was quite cute. Any Secret Santa gifts from work, some would save to open on Christmas Day. Personally, I think its silly to be so strict, so I have always opened my Secret Santa gift at work if I participated.
Secret Santa: Secret Santa is just one gift where you do not actually know who sent it in the UK. As a child in the states doing Secret Santa, you would have the task of a few small gifts and you would reveal yourself once the last gift was presented.
Gifts for Santa: In the UK, you left Father Christmas a mince pie and a glass of Sherry and a carrot for Rudolf. For me it was cookies and milk though I would leave carrots for the reindeer. Another story a colleague told me was one year for their daughter, they made footprints and hove prints in the snow outside for her to see that Santa had been. I think they left bits of carrot on the ground too. They have a big open field behind their house which made this possible.
Opening Presents: In the UK on Christmas Day you would not necessarily open presents first thing. If you had family coming over it could be until after lunch or not until the evening. Now I do not feel so bad with my Nana having each of take a turn!
Robins: Robins are a sign of Winter in the UK. So, its common to see Robins on the tree or on other various Christmas decorations. Robins also look a lot different than Robins in the US which also happen to be a sign that Spring is coming. While they both have red bellies, British Robins are much smaller than American ones.
Christmas Dinner: In the UK, as I mentioned before you’d have a Turkey, other sides including Pigs in Blanket which is just bacon wrapped mini sausages which we do have in the states but “pigs in blankets” refers to hotdogs wrapped in dough and little bacon wrapped smokies (what we called them) can be had at any time of year. There was also brussel sprouts, Yorkshire puddings (at least with my lot in the Yorkshire area which do not follow any Jamie Oliver recipes!), and various veg as well as mash and roasted potatoes. The meal would be like a Sunday roast with a few variations. In the US it could be turkey with stuffing or a honey roast ham, green bean casserole, baked sweet potatoes or yams with a marshmallow topping and sweet Hawaiian rolls. I’m sure there were other dishes but those are the main ones we always seemed to have, and these sides could be had at Thanksgiving as well.
Christmas Desserts/Pudding: A UK dessert would be Christmas Pudding which is a fruitcake with either custard or brandy sauce. You would also have a Chocolate Yule Log which is probably more palatable to children. Back home, we always had either Pumpkin pie or Pecan pie or both. I remember one thing my grandpa on my mom’s side always did was to get several different pies from a place called Miss Sherry’s that he enjoyed lunch from. He continued this tradition each year at Thanksgiving and Christmas and birthday gatherings until I think he had to go to assisted living. It is something I’ll always miss I think now since he passed away this past summer.
Christmas Stockings: While I do think the UK does hang stockings. They are not necessarily filled. Having a Santa Sack filled with toys for kids from Santa is more common. Christmas stockings are more of a decoration in the UK rather than another place to put presents. I remember once hearing that you would put your stocking on your bed post to be filled, but I can’t remember which country does that. And having oranges in your stocking was an early tradition as well.
Christmas Cookies/Biscuits: Now I have a tradition that I make Snickerdoodle cookies each year. It is a cinnamon sugar crinkle cookie that I have made for years. I first found it in The Joy of Christmas Cookies cookbook that my mom bought. Apparently, it has German origins but all I know is that its my dad’s favourite cookie that my great grandmother used to make when he was a kid. I also happen to really love cinnamon, so I usually make it at this time of year. Sugar cookies and gingerbread men are also a tradition with various cut outs and sprinkle decorations done though as I recall we only iced them sometimes. I remember we had an old ice cream bucket filled with various cookie cutters that were primarily used at Christmas. I’m sure my mom still has this! I remember making a gingerbread house with my mom and brothers when I was a kid. It was a lot of fun though I don’t think we ever ate it. It just stayed out as a table decoration. Other cookies we tended to make were peanut butter thumbprint cookies that had a Hersey kiss in the middle, Mexican wedding cookies. We didn’t make peppermint bark, but I knew it was well loved by my parents that was common to have around as well as chocolate covered pretzels. I also recall making Linzer cookies a few times but without the jam, just with the linzer cookie maker. In the UK, Gingerbread biscuits, shortbread with or without chocolate coating and decorated sugar cookies are a few I can recall being common. But its more than just biscuits in the UK, mince pies, Yule Logs, Christmas Pudding, profiteroles (or profit rolls as my husband likes to call them), trifle, Christmas cake which is different to the pudding as far as shape goes and Stollen is quite common as well but I see Stollen as more of a German tradition its definitely well received here in the UK.
Christmas Carols: I recall having a knock on your door around Christmas would mean someone was singing carols at the door. I did it once with a church group at a nursing home and one of the parents on my street worked at a school and would organise his students to go around singing Christmas carols so we’d get it every year. I have yet to have anyone knock on our door at our home here in the UK to do that. Though I have seen people in the town centre singing or playing instruments. Christmas carol concerts might be a bit more common but that is something I’m out of touch with.
Checking out Christmas Lights: My favourite thing to do each year when I was a kid was to get in the car with my brothers and my mom and drive all over our town to look at outdoor Christmas decorations. There were at least two famous homes that went all out. One house would create an outdoor scene with ice skating and snowboarding. Another house which was near where my aunt lived would create Santa’s Workshop. I remember my mom commenting about how she didn’t want to know what their electric bill was like with the amount of lights filling the front yard and house. I once took my husband to see it when we first engaged as he wanted to meet more of my family that Christmas. He did not understand it! Having lived here a few years I can see why. For one, houses here don’t have much space for a garden in front of the house and those that do are usually gated. What they do have is usually paved over or set with stonework to be used as like a driveway and less maintenance. Sometimes people will put up lights in the windows but nowhere to the same extend with where I live. But I always enjoyed my walks home from work in December as a few houses I would pass would have some fun lights in the windows.
Christmas Jumper Day/Ugly Sweater Day: Depending on what you call it, having a horrible ugly sweater (ugly Christmas jumper) to wear for one day is kind of a must. There are nice or cute ones as well that people will wear for Christmas Jumper Day and just in December in general, but I never seen a market for ugly jumpers until I came to the UK. I remember wearing Christmas sweaters whenever (another word difference there as well) and not for a particular day.
Mad Friday: In the UK, the Friday before Christmas is called Mad Friday, its usually when everyone is trying to finish up their Christmas shopping. Its also when pubs are filled to the brim with people wanting to get smashed fast and with friends. In the past we have been out on this night but not necessarily to pub crawl and get drunk. My husband’s birthday is a week before Christmas so Mad Friday would usually be near or on his birthday depending on what the dates were. I for one, hate it because places are far more busy than usual, and I have serious anxiety issues with large groups of people especially while drunk. Give me a quiet corner and a nice flavourful stout and I’m happy and if that quiet corner is to be in my house, so be it!
Pantomimes: I have never gone to a Pantomime or Panto in the UK as its primarily targeted at children and only being a mother of cats, I can’t say I have felt a need to go. I used to work by a theatre though and each year I remember seeing loads of busses that would take large group of kids to the theatre and park nearby. I would always hear about it too from colleagues who were taking kids to panto and different celebrities that were staring in a panto. Now to explain to those that haven’t heard of it, Pantomime is a children’s entertainment theatre. A famous children’s story would be acted out, usually in a comedic way. Why its around Christmas I don’t know. The closest we have ever had was a Christmas concert with entertainment whilst in school but that would be done by the kids for the parents and different classes would be involved. I’m sure the UK probably do something like this as well but not having children puts me at a disadvantage of knowing more.
Boxing Day: While its the day after Christmas and what I found out when I was older, an extremely popular day to return items if possible and go out to eat. In the UK, its another holiday. Christmas Day and Boxing Day are days that most everyone is entitled to have off work depending on what field you work in. I do recall football being played as Mike would always ponder about going to the game or watch it from the warmth of the house, warmth of the house usually won out. I think historically Boxing Day was a day in which the needy would be given money or a box of goods, I don’t think this is still practiced the same.
Christmas Markets: One thing I was surprised by when I was a student in Leeds was a German Christmas Market. Though I think they are generally just referred to as Christmas Markets. While I had been to my fair share of craft markets growing up which would be held in schools on weekends. A German Christmas Market is a stall of some kind that has been set up outside to sell items geared towards Christmas. It could be trinkets, food stalls, crafts or even things you might find at a Saturday market. Each town seemed to have their own if they were large enough. I have attended Leeds, Manchester, and York just to name a few. Hot Chocolate, German sausages and warmed stollen with custard were popular stalls. A makeshift pub that had a line out the door to get in was quite common too. I remember seeing loads of different sweet stalls for marshmallows and fudge. The other thing was the massive amount of people at these markets. The busiest one I found was the one in Manchester a few years back. As I said, I tend struggle with large crowds, so this was definitely a test. My favourite though has to be the one in York. But I love York overall as a great place to visit any time of year.
Overall, I feel like I have only touched on the differences between the UK and US with Christmas. There is so much more than what I’ve just talked about in this post. I do notice that Christmas in the UK tends to hold a lot of traditions with origins from Europe like with the Christmas Markets and certain foods like Stollen. It feels like a good mix of commercialism but a cosy time to spend with family too. In the states there’s far more religious connotations with Christmas being about the birth of Jesus. But I also know Hanukkah has just as strong a presence, possibly because where I’m from there is a large Jewish community. Here in the UK its rarer to find someone who is obviously Jewish. I know very few people here in the UK that don’t celebrate Christmas or at least participate in something Christmassy. At my former employer anyone could do Secret Santa and many of my Muslim colleagues took part. We had Christmas activities too, for some it was about the competition with games we played and a chance to do something fun at work.
I like different aspects of Christmas with both countries. I love doing the Christmas cracker at dinner. Helping make Yorkshire puddings and roasted potatoes and veg. I never had a parsnip until I moved to the UK and its one of my favourite veggies to have roasted whether at Christmas or a Sunday roast, I also make a nice Yorkshire pudding. I always loved the idea of having a Christmas stocking to the point I have gotten all of us (cats included) stockings that I like to fill. This year I probably will not do as much for filling a stocking as times are hard, but I enjoy having them out. I love how chilled Boxing Day is as well. We usually just have a day of munching on snacks and leftover roast and just vegging out and enjoying being at home.
My brothers and I at grandmas
My parents with my brother
Two of my cousins with our grandpa
My nephew Dayton and I
My nephew Michael and I
Members of my family at my aunts one year
Myself, my brother Chris, my mom and Uncle Doug
My uncles’ kids and my nephews
My uncles, my aunt, my mom and grandpa
Let me know if there’s anything you celebrate in the US or UK that might be different to what I’ve said, so many different cultures have so many different traditions and even with families there can be differences. I’m always fascinated with how Christmas is different in other countries as well. Like in Japan its common to get KFC for Christmas!
So I haven’t written anything lately. But there hasn’t been anything to write about really. England has been in its second lockdown since 5 November so not been able to really get out and about much. The weather has dropped cool and sometimes wet and while I’ve been running three times a week I’m mostly sticking to home. I do go to town maybe once a week but only for a few things I need and back home.
I honestly can’t wait for the day I can sit in a cafe again for a coffee or tea and a little snack. Some coffee places have been open for takeaway but sitting on a cold bench with the wind blowing isn’t exactly relaxing.
I have gotten most of my Christmas shopping out of the way! I’ve wrapped quite a few presents as well. No Christmas decorating yet but only because I know Marcey will be a pain in the butt when it comes to the tree. She likes to chew on it and take ornaments off. Plus its a question of where to put the tree. There’s a chair where I put it last year and I don’t really want to move a lamp to put it in a corner. But I have time to sort that out.
So yeah like I said, not a right lot to say. I suppose when its closer to Christmas I can talk about different traditions between the UK and from what I did growing up in the US. I think that should be an interesting read.
If anyone has any suggestions about things they’d like to know about or any questions. Feel free to ask and maybe I’ll make a post about it.
For those that know me, they know I love cats. From a young age I can remember seeing a cat and instantly wanting to make friends with it. Once while on a family vacation. We were all gathering to go horseback riding and I was busy trying to pick up a barn cat. I never met a cat I didn’t want to be friends with, even if that cat wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. At some point I stopped trying to pick up cats and just settled for calling out to them when I saw one and admiring their beauty from afar.
Growing up we always had cats and dogs. And while I loved our family dog Babe, a calm golden retriever, he had nothing on the purr machines. I know one of the main reasons as a kid was because cats didn’t smell when you petted them, whereas, when petting a dog you’d get the scent of dog on your hands and the only time I ever thought a dog smelled nice was after a fresh grooming session. Anyway, not bashing dogs in any way. They just don’t hold the magic for me.
Eddie and Missy
My first cat was Eddie. A tabby cat my parents adopted before I was born. I always felt so lucky when he chose to sleep in my room with me. He was a sweet cat who I don’t recall anything negative about. I once saw him hiss at some kittens that he may or may not been the father of. But that’s it. And for a kid like me who enjoyed playing pretend, I’m fairly sure I subjected him to baby doll clothes like I did with my next cat Missy.
Eddie
Missy was the cat I grew up with. We got her around the time Eddie passed away, I think before he did as I recall my mom being concerned about taking care of so many cats. Missy was named by me after the other cat who had kittens that we didn’t keep. She was a beautiful calico cat that was mostly covered in black and tan fur. She loved to cuddle. I remember holding her at times and when she’d pull away from my neck it would be wet with her drool. She was always a tiny cat though I never noticed when she was alive. She also ruled the household with an iron paw as the only animal she liked was our dog Babe. The other cat we adopted when I was 12 would have to cater to her though she could be a bully herself when she wanted to be, especially when it came to food. I lost Missy at the age of 20 to renal failure just a few months after she was diagnosed. It took me a long time to get over her loss. But she taught me a lot about love and what it is about cats that make me happy.
Missy
My little parrot cat
Indy
Our next cat was a cat we found while camping around the 4th July when I was 12 years old. My birthday was coming up soon and I wanted another cat. She was a skittish cat that was covered in flea and ticks that we found out was dumped at the local shop near the campsite. We lured her with a candy bar and picked her up and took her back to the campsite with us. I decided to name her Independence River and call her Indy River or Indy for short. She was a calico cat as well but with a better mix of the three colours calicos tend to have. She was quite shy when we first got her to our camp. With the help of many of us. We got all the sticks off her that we could see and gave her some food. I don’t know why but we accidentally let her go exploring and lost her until that evening until my cousin spotted her near the campsite exploring. We managed to pick her up and put her in my mom’s car.
I decided to sleep in the car with her that night. At that age I really hated camping and earlier in the trip my cousin and I had an unfortunate first night in my tent which started leaking so we took shelter in the car. So, I was happy to sleep in the car again. I brought the cat an uncooked hot dog and a bit of milk (I had no idea milk was bad for cats at this time but thankfully it didn’t make Indy sick). She happily scarfed down the hot dog and took a drink of the milk and probably for the next several hours, would not leave me alone. She was sooooo happy. I remember I eventually felt asleep exhausted because was that demanding of attention and pets from me while she purred away. I remember waking up the next morning to find Indy was sleeping next to my head on the pillow. Later that day my mom and I returned home with Indy who stayed under my seat the whole time. When we first drove away from the general store with her my mom told me we could keep her. Or at least in my thoughts, I recall that. It could have been a maybe but that’s all I needed to hear as a yes.
But Indy lived a lovely long life to the age of about 18. She was a year or two when we got her, but she was with us for 18 years. I had already moved to the UK by this point, so I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to her. But I know she didn’t have long when I left, I thought trying to move her to the UK with me would too much stress on her so I made the hard decision to leave her with my parents. She’d been having a lot of health problems. I think she had some undiagnosed hyperthyroidism and had been suffering with constipation issues for years. My mom told me she passed away while sleeping with my mom. I know she had a good end.
Mogs and Minnie
When I first met my husband in person in 2010 (we’d been friends online for 4 years by this point), his parents had adopted two cats from a family friend. They we meant to be like therapy cats for my father-in-law who was recently diagnosed with a type of blood cancer and was forced into early retirement. Those cats were Minnie and Mogs, they were survivors of animal abuse. Minnie was about 7 years old when she was adopted and a calico cat with a bit of a lump on her side and no fur on her neck. She was a sweet cat that loved attention. Mogs was a fluffy tuxedo cat of about two years old that was so scared of people. Anytime workmen would be in the house she would take off like a light, we believe her past abuse was someone of that type because even wearing heavy boots has scared the life out of her before. She spent a lot of time under my husband’s bed as her safe place when first adopted. She would eventually get used to the household but any visitors such as myself she kept her distance from. Though I remember on the last night of my visit in the UK in 2010 Mogs chose to lay in my lap and purr away while I petted her. It was an exceedingly rare for her to lay with anyone, so I felt incredibly special. I remember her putting her head back to look at me and seeing her calm sweet eyes. I was quite taken with her.
Grey
In 2011 I decided I would get my master’s degree in England (going to school in the UK was a dream of mine from the age of 15) and proceeded to move to Leeds and attend Leeds Beckett University. I was a frequent visitor though to the Roger household, so I got to spend lots of time with Mogs and Minnie. Both cats loved to go outside, but especially Mogs. It was how she thrived. There’d be times where she’d be gone the entire day and just come home to eat and sleep for the next 12 hours only to repeat the process the next day. The only thing that might keep Mogs in was another cat who lived across the road. A grey cat who would often just pass by in our garden but if our back door just so happen to be opened he would make a detour to the unsupervised food bowls and take off at the first sign of movement. For a cat that was owned, he spent an awful lot of time outside. Since his house was just across the road and my husband’s bedroom looked out to theirs, I’d find myself watching him a lot. The saddest sight I ever saw was him slowly walking across the road in the rain only to lay on top of a neighbour’s garage and lay there. I’d sometimes see him by the paper shop and off-licence just sunning himself too.
We eventually got word that the neighbour would be moving. She was a single mother who had the grey cat and another black cat who seemed quite young though I rarely saw. Turned out the black cat was a kitten who also happen to get pregnant, so she got the majority of the attention, which I think made the grey cat jealous. He was put outside often because of this. Originally, he belonged to the neighbour’s brother who moved away and left the cat with his sister. The neighbour left and within like a week or so of them moving, we’d see the grey cat in our garden. We wondered if he was a new cat or the one that moved away. We had no way of contacting the former neighbour to find this out either. Eventually after a few days we realised it was in fact the neighbour’s cat and started feeding him a few times a day outside. We never let him in as Mogs would get upset but once or twice when my mother-in-law wasn’t in and/or I was the only one in, I’d let him come inside to eat. It was through one of these interactions I found he didn’t mind me holding him. In fact, it set him off purring.
At this point in the year it was end of July, nearly August. I had pretty much moved into my in-law’s house while I wrote my dissertation. Mike and I had gotten engaged in June and were in the early process of planning our wedding. On the 1 August I was home alone for a bit. Being very bored and wanting to distract myself from my studies I ended up luring the cat who we had taken to calling Grey into my husband’s bedroom with me. He explored the room, looked out the window and then went back outside. I was hoping for a bit of company but obviously he wasn’t much interested. Later that night when my husband was back from work Grey decided to come upstairs of his own accord and cautiously investigate the room again. At the time we had a couch in the bedroom so while my husband and I were sat on the couch, me on my computer and him next to me watching TV, Grey got into the windowsill again to look outside. Then he decided to get on the couch with us and just push my laptop out of the way so he could lay in my lap. I was shocked! While I pretended that this was the first time he came into the room, this was most definitely the first time the cat laid in my lap! I remember my husband commenting about how I could act all put out about him pushing the laptop out of the way but I was loving the fact he was in my lap cuddled up and purring away. He was right too! It was also my birthday so I couldn’t have asked for a better present!
Stealing my lap for the first time ever!
From that point he was allowed in the house no matter what Mogs thought. Grey was fitting in quite well with our family even if Mogs wasn’t happy. Minnie wasn’t bothered one way or another, but she would let Grey know she was top cat in the household if she was ever blocking the doorway. About a week after we started allowing him into the house, a lady who also lived across the road next to Grey’s old house happen to see Grey while my in-laws were busy working in the garden. She stated that the cat belonged to her friend. My mother-in-law told her that he’d been here the last three weeks and that we’d been taking care of him. I was upstairs at the time trying to work on my dissertation and hearing bits and pieces of the conversation. About an hour or so later Grey’s owner showed up and took him home. I proceeded to cry my eyes out because I’d gotten so attached to him. He was a silly sweet cat and just loved to cuddle you and spend all his time with you. I knew there was a possibility that he’d go to his new home, but I’d hope that wouldn’t happen.
So, I got on for the next week feeling down and mopey without him. One Saturday morning I got up to check on the cats and let them decide if they wanted out when I discovered Grey in our garden, again. He was none too pleased with me. I think he thought I had abandoned him when he got taken back. I don’t know how long it had taken him to get back to us, but he clearly wasn’t having it at his new home. This was his neighbourhood and he had decided he wasn’t going anywhere! So now that we knew someone who could contact his owner, we did. But it was not just to say Grey was at ours again. It was also to say we would be happy to keep him. And keep him we did. I always consider my birthday, our birthday because that was the day Grey chose us as his family. When my father-in-law would be sat in his chair with the cats, it would be all three of them surrounding him with cuddles. At night when my husband and I went to bed, while Mogs and Minnie weren’t much for bedtime cuddles, Grey was laying in between us purring away. It’s something he still does today.
In October 2012 I got my dissertation, but I was struggling to find work that would allow me to stay until January 2013. I ended up having to go back to the states in November and I was devastated. I had done long distance with my husband before, but I still didn’t want to, planning a wedding long distance as well was going to be challenging. Plus, I was now leaving behind three cats I’d grown attached to, though, none like I had with Grey. Grey filled the void I had lost with Missy and I felt like I was losing him all over again. I went back to the states and moved back in with my parents. I had this blog going but ended up putting it on the wayside as the whole point of the blog was to write about my life in England and I wasn’t in England. I was happy to be back with Indy again. She looked so tiny and skinny when I got home. I never noticed that about her before, had she always been like that? It took Indy about a day to forgive me to leaving her behind a whole year. But soon we were back to our snuggling in bedtimes and I was dealing with the horrible flea infestation she had gotten while I was away. I’ve never had so many bites on me from that first month or so home that it took to get rid of them all. Mike and I planned our wedding, I did it as low budget as we could and did a LOT of DIY stuff. It was enjoyable for the most part, but I don’t think I’d ever want to do that again. If (god forbid) I were ever to get married a second time in life, I’m eloping cause the amount of stress I put myself under trying to take care of loads with little to no help and a fiancé that could only do so much.
In October 2013 Mike and I wed at a historic home not even 5 minutes away from my childhood home. It was a beautiful ceremony and that day just seemed to go by in a flash! I’d be in England 6 weeks later to have our UK reception for all of Mike’s family. I got to see Grey, Mogs and Minnie again too. Though it wasn’t a completely happy time. My father-in-law’s cancer had gotten worse and we found out not long after the reception that he was in the final stages of his illness. My trip which was only meant to be about two weeks ended up being about 6 weeks as I couldn’t leave my family to deal with all this on their own. My father-in-law passed away on 13 December 2013 with his family surrounding him. It was a hard time for a bit. The cats definitely missed him, Minnie especially. I went back home in January and got back to my current life of working two jobs and doing what I could while we applied for my spouse visa. I visited again in April of that year to find Minnie was not doing well. She was covered in much from eating. Apparently, she had a few teeth removed but was struggling to eat. I did what I could for her by trying to clean the muck off her and brushing out her fur. We could tell she wasn’t all there mentally as well. I think they’d stopped letting her do as much outside. It was taking longer for my husband and I to get me over, he had to have time off work when his dad passed away and we had to have proof of his income with 6 months’ worth of payslips. We were just at that point where he could start showing his 6 months of payslips.
I returned home after a lovely trip with the hopes I’d be back there before the end of the year. After I went back home, I was told that Minnie was taken to the vet again. They were shocked at the state of her, it turned out she had a tumour in her stomach that was basically causing her to regurgitate her food which is why she was covered in it. My mother-in-law made the hard decision to let her be with my father-in-law again. She was always his cat after all. So, then it was just Mogs and Grey. Over time these two have slowly started tolerating each other. Mogs has become a totally different cat over the years. One who used to hide away when we had friends round and rarely grace you with lap time started coming out more and more and lap time became a more common occurrence. It even turned out that Mogs had preference for laying on men rather than women. Most of the time Mogs would choose to lay next to me which was fine as I usually had a laptop. Grey would be the one who’d want to be in between the laptop and me I guess for the cuddly warmth. But it was amazing to watch Mogs blossom into a less skittish cat.
Jiji
In August 2016, a family friend of my mother-in-law’s asked if we wanted to adopt a kitten. Two of her cats ended up getting together and she had three kittens. I think she had a home for two of them. But a black cat was left. He was a tiny little thing that had big yellow eyes. I was utterly shocked at the idea of having another kitten. I had long gotten used to the idea that I would never have a kitten again. I was very much the type of person who believed adopting needy cats was the best thing to do and that kittens would almost always get picked up first. So to find I had a chance to have a kitten again, the first time since Missy was too good a chance to pass up. We had to wait the right amount of time before taking him in. It wasn’t until September that he came to live with us. He was such a shy little guy! He preferred hiding under the furniture instead of coming out. I remember my husband holding him and as I approached him with love and adoration, I got growled at, by a tiny kitten! My husband joked that our new cat, who we called Jiji (after the cat in one of my favourite Ghibli films, Kiki’s Delivery Service) was his since I had stolen Grey away when I moved back to the UK. It seemed this kitten was agreeing!
Our first day with Jiji
I was so excited to come home after work most nights. I’d get home, barely say hello to my husband and be all over Jiji! I took getting him used to me and the other cats seriously. While my husband might be busy watching tv or YouTube and chatting online with his friends. I was playing with Jiji, feeding him and getting Grey and Mogs used to the tiny member. I remember one night, not long after we got him, I had taken Jiji upstairs to our bedroom. I was taking pictures of him and he started meowing at me with this tiny yet scratchy voice. It reminded me of a mini raptor like from Jurassic Park. He proceeded to climb up onto my leg and as I laid back, he just kept walking up to my face meowing away. I of course was swooning away at this sweet little guy just demanding attention from me. He eventually fell asleep lying next to me with a paw on my leg. As the months went on, he got bigger and more energetic! He had no issues climbing up the curtains in the front room and looking down at me as if to say, okay how do I get down now. He loved to pester Grey as well who begrudgingly allowed it. But he also had no problem putting the kid in his place. That would never stop Jiji for long though as he’d just come right back at him. Jiji had another rather bad habit that got to the point I couldn’t stand in the kitchen without looking over my shoulder. He’d silently come into the kitchen where I was and suddenly just start climbing my leg to see what I was doing. It was incredibly painful, and it was more like, he launched himself onto my leg. It was the only thing I didn’t find cute in him!
One of my favourite things with Jiji was when I’d come home from work, worn out and tired. I’d sit on the couch and he would jump onto the back of the couch and proceed to climb on my shoulder and start kneading my chest. I’d get his purring motor in my ear while he did this and just pet him. I’ve always found purring to be very calming in a cat. I can remember when throughout my life holding one of my cats and when they’d start purring, I’d just bury my face in their fur. That warm, soft feeling along with the rumbles of a purring cat always managed to set me right.
We didn’t let Jiji go outside until he was neutered and even then, I wanted to wait because it would always be so dark outside by the time I’d get home. It wasn’t until Christmas Day 2016 that he got venture outside. He was so scared! I don’t think he even went out, he just backed up as fast as possible! We had him on a harness and leash so that he could safely look around the garden with us. The second day we took him out, my husband held him as we stood outside until he got used to the noises and smells and then put him down to start exploring. He was hooked from that moment on. I wouldn’t let him go outside in the dark at first, so mornings were interesting! Leaving a window open was a no go as the little stinker would try to climb up the curtains to go out the open window! I was so protective of my baby boy. But I knew he loved to be outside just as much as Mogs did. Eventually I would let him go outside in the mornings as I knew it wouldn’t stay dark. Sometimes he’d be back before I left for work and if he wasn’t, I would fret until I got a text from my mother-in-law.
As the weather warmed up, nature started coming back to life. Jiji picked up a bad habit of bring in live bumblebees that he’d let go of. It was a challenging task to get the poor things back outside and away from my little stinker! One time a bee decided it had enough and stung Jiji while he was trying to bring it in. I don’t know if he ate the bee or what, but I noticed he had a very frog like look to his face that day! I made the decision to not let him out the rest of the day to see how he faired. Besides a little sleepy he seemed to do okay. You’d think he’d leave bees alone after but nope! He kept messing with them! He would also bring in a live bird and a few times a mouse. I’ve never known him to bring in a dead animal, but I definitely knew he would torture them outside, especially the poor frogs!
Frog faced Jiji
The relationship I had with Jiji was special. But other than me and Grey, Jiji wouldn’t spend much time with anyone else. My husband jokingly claimed that I stole Jiji away from him. To which I pointed out, if he had played with him as much as I did when he was first with us, he’d be attached to him too. Jiji was not an easy cat to hold. He’d allow me to for a short amount of time, but I knew he’d rather be outside. For Jiji’s first birthday, I decided I would let him stay outside all night. It was getting increasingly difficult to get him in at night and no amount of coaxing could get him in. He came in the next morning happy as a clam wanting breakfast. I started talking myself into the idea that I would let him stay out at night more often.
Jiji only ever stayed outside all night all of three times. The third time was the last time. We had had Jiji for just over a year at this point. Over the weekend he was difficult to get in choosing instead to lay in one of the cat cabins we had in the garden. I remember having to go out there and make him come inside. I had wanted people to see him. So later that week, I decided I wouldn’t fight him with coming in as he was once again choosing to stay outside in the cat cabin. It was a decision I would regret the next day. The next day was Halloween, I had gotten up and gotten ready for work and dressing in a dress that I could dress up as a witch’s costume. It was quite a dark morning out. I opened the back door and called all the cats. Grey and Mogs were in and eating but there was no sign of Jiji. I decided to leave the back door open while I got my breakfast ready. I called for him a few times and was finding he still wasn’t coming in. I went out to the front of the house to throw some stuff in the outside bins when Grey followed me out. I didn’t see any sign of Jiji anywhere like I hoped. Grey eventually started crossing the street then stopped and looked into the street. He had walked out in between my husband and mother-in-law’s car which were blocking my view of the street. I started giving Grey grief for just sitting in the middle of the road and started coming towards him. He was still sat there looking at the street, so I went between the cars to see what it was he was looking at. It was Jiji. But Jiji was very clearly not of this earth anymore. I stood there for a minute looking at his lifeless body and just hoping it wasn’t my cat. That it was just another poor black cat in the neighbourhood. But Jiji had a distinct colouring. He was a black tabby cat, the first one I’ve ever known in my life. No one in that neighbourhood had a black cat with tabby stripes. I immediately ran inside the house and started screaming for Mike who was still in bed. My mother-in-law heard me and came out of her room to see what was wrong. In between my shrieking and blubbering they managed to understand I had found Jiji outside. My mother-in-law ran outside with me while Mike scrambled to get clothes on as we took him out of the street. Mike met me at the door where I proceeded to cry my eyes out for the next ten minutes. Wanting to believe it was a nightmare, that what I had seen was nothing more than a horrible dream that I would soon wake up from. My beautiful, energetic boy was gone. Taken from us when some asshole decided racing their car down a residential street was acceptable. So fast that Jiji didn’t have enough time to react to get out of the way.
My mother-in-law set to work putting Jiji’s body at rest. Needless to say, neither me nor my husband went to work that day. At this time in my life, I was suffering deeply with anxiety and depression. In September I went to the doctors as I kept having suicidal thoughts and thoughts about self-harm. I knew if I didn’t to do something about that, those thoughts would become reality. My work was very understanding when I opened up about what was going on with me. I took some time off to get settled on medication the doctor recommended and then was working half days until my two-week holiday at the beginning of October. A week of it was to be spent in the highlands in Scotland in a lovely cottage we rented for our anniversary. It was an incredibly relaxing holiday. The cottage had this amazing bathtub that I think I spent almost every night in having a long soak while I drank wine and listened to music. There was a view of sheep in the fields and a view of the highlands. I think I saw a rainbow no less than three times during our stay. I’d say the only downside was the internet so it was difficult to stream anything but we had brought a load of DVDs with us and I had a very large book collection I had brought with me.
Not long after we came back from our holiday though a dear childhood friend of mine suddenly passed away. He was only in his late 30s at the time. So, for my mental health to be so bad and lose not one but two important people in my life in such a short amount of time. All I can say is I’m glad I went on the medication when I did. It was because of all this I ended up attending grief counselling to help me deal with these losses. I never really allowed myself to grief before so for the first time in my life, I was feeling all the things you feel with grief; anger, sadness, guilt. The guilt was pretty bad. I was upset with myself for allowing Jiji to stay outside all night but there was no telling that if I had kept him in until 4 or 5am then let him out like I did sometimes that it still wouldn’t have happened. I also couldn’t control how wild Jiji was, keeping him in would have made him miserable. He loved the outdoors the most. And now I like to think he’s chasing all the bumblebees he wants and running wild until I see him again.
It was so quiet without him though. Grey missed his playmate, and I missed his demanding meows of me and sweet drooly purrs. We considered getting another kitten, but it just seemed too soon at first. Around February I remember looking at different kittens and cats but I knew I wasn’t quite there yet. Plus, there was the adoption fee and the vaccination fees with the vet to consider as well. Before, we never paid for anything but the vets as the cats just seemed to land in our laps. I started looking at different local rescues to see what they had. I didn’t know it at the time but there would soon be plenty of kittens to choose from when I was ready. It was about April when I noticed one of the local rescues was getting in loads of kittens. I remember seeing three different litter sets. I let them know I was interested. Initially I was only looking at tabby kittens because I wanted a tabby cat again. The other two sets of litters were black and white kittens, so I hardly looked at them individually.
Marcey
I had my inspection with the rescue who I let them know of which kittens they had that were my preference. Little did I know they gave the kittens on first come, first serve basis and wouldn’t let you meet the cats. I thought it was strange, but I guess because kittens are most wanted from a rescue it didn’t require more consideration for who adopted them. I was given a choice between two kittens. A boy and a girl from the same litter. The boy was cute with a lot of black on his face but there seemed something special about the girl so after quick check with the husband we decided on the girl. We had weekend trip to Stirling in Scotland and would pick the kitten up the day after we came back as it was a bank holiday weekend as well. But I could not wait! I let the foster know we would come pick our baby up on the Sunday. We had been considering names all weekend. While her name with the foster family was cute, I wanted something different to that.
When we arrived at the foster family’s home, only our girl and her brother were still at home. The boy was meant to stay longer as he had a limp in his leg the day before that the foster family wanted to be sure wasn’t serious. But looking at our kitten. She was sooo tiny! I swear she could fit in one hand she was that small. I was instantly in love with her tiny form. We got her home to settle and surprisingly she wasn’t too shy. She did look around the room, but she seemed more mellow and sleepy. While we considered many different names now that she was home with us, we were still stuck. We couldn’t seem to quite agree on a name. But then, my husband said what about naming her Marcey. My grandmother’s name was Marcey, short for Marcella. She had passed away from breast cancer when I was 14. I always vowed that I’d name a daughter Marcey after her or a boy Patrick for her family name. But my husband and I had decided sometime in the last year that we weren’t sure if we wanted kids. It wasn’t the right time for us for one thing. But I also had to consider why I actually wanted kids. And wanting to actually have kids to raise wasn’t one of them. To carry on our genes, well I sure as shit didn’t want to give a kid the anxiety I have had my whole life plus whatever learning disabilities ran in not just my family but my husband’s plus a few other traits that ran in both of families that could potentially affect our kids. The other reason was to carry on the family name but that wasn’t about us. I liked kids, I had four nephews I adored and helped take care of when they were young. But I didn’t have to care for them all of the time. I also barely felt like an adult, more like one who was pretending to be an adult. I was curious about what pregnancy would be like, but it might not be the magically thing I thought it would be like when I was a kid. My husband also agreed that he wasn’t ready for kids. There was a lot of traveling we wanted to do that would be hard if we had kids. So, kids are on the back burner, possibly forever, unless we consider adoption in future. But I didn’t think I needed a kid to fill that void they try to say couples have. Cats have always made me happy. I’ve always loved them unconditionally. I also liked the fact it wouldn’t be considered abuse to shut myself in a room without the cats when I needed a break from them.
Cats were my kids and I thought, well I guess that means her name is Marcey then. Because she was my baby girl. We let Marcey stay in our room that first night. I was so worried we would accidentally squash her in our sleep. But there was nothing to worry about as Marcey chose to sleep on me by my pillow. If she wasn’t on my chest curled up, she’d be at my shoulder snuggled up. I remember waking up once to my arms curled up above me on the pillow with Marcey in the middle. She was such a sweetheart. That’s how it’s always been. If Marcey ever chooses to sleep in bed with us, it’s either at the foot of the bed or on my chest. She’s also a bit of a brat and will bite my hand if I’m not petting her. Doesn’t matter if its 2am and I had been sleeping soundly, that hand had better be giving her head scritches.
So that’s my three cats. Grey is more of a grump with Marcey but Mogs and Marcey have found a good playmate in each other that is like what Grey and Jiji had. I never let Marcey stay outside all night. I decided to do that to give myself peace of mind. Mogs is about the only cat now that gets to stay out all night because she lets us know that if we don’t, we’ll have a mess to clean up and its usually not in the litterbox. Since Grey is getting to be older and more forgetful, we’ve also decided he has to stay in at night. So at least Marcey isn’t alone in being the only cat in sometimes. Very frequently though, all three will be in on a night and in our room sleeping until at least 6am. Marcey is fairly good about staying in our garden. Jiji used to be all over the place whether in the back or out from. But the only times I’ve seen Marcey try to go out front is when I’ve been busy gardening at the side of the house and she sees me.
Its not only these cats though that have had an impact on my life. I’ve also had a few other cats in the last year or so that have had an impact on my life. There’s Tommy who I mentioned an awful lot in my last post. I’d help more cats like him if I could afford it but it does show how much cats have a deep impact on me that I want to do what I can to help them in return.
Meatball and Lexi
There are also two other cats. Both neighbourhood cats that do have owners but seem to find my garden to be a safe haven for cats. And there’s not even any catnip planted! (yet) The last two cats I will mention today, are Meatball the lovable ginger menace who came into my life in 2019. He was a ginger tabby cat that started showing up in my garden. I thought he was so skinny, and he was clearly an intact boy. I managed to capture a picture of him and share his picture on a local lost and found pet page on Facebook. Turned out he was owned and was new to the neighbourhood. His owner lived further down the street and said she was getting some stuff sorted out before getting his pet insurance done so he could then be neutered. I didn’t know how long that would take. But I did hope it would be soon. Grey would come in a few times with signs of obvious fighting and be very grumpy about it. And then Mogs and Marcey would take off whenever this cat was around. I kept in contact with the owner and would be friendly with the cat. Most of the time when I would see him, it would be catching him in the house eating the cat’s food that was left in the bowls. It reminded me a lot of Grey. But I figured he was just being a stinker, so I’d shoo him out and go about my business. I did become more friendly with him as the summer went on. I found he could be quite sweet once he got to know a person. Though I was the only person he seemed to want to spend time with.
Since I was so happy with our connection, I didn’t think much of it when one day Meatball is in the garden like usual and Marcey shows up wanting to come inside. What I didn’t like is that when Meatball saw Mogs or Marcey, he’d immediately stalk them and/or chase them off. Getting the cats in or out of the house with him around was difficult. This day I decided I couldn’t let him bully Marcey, all she wanted was to come inside and eat some food and I couldn’t have him stopping her. When he started walking towards her. I walked into his path and firmly told him no. He was always quite a vocal cat and he let me know he disagreed and tried to go around me. Once again, I got in his path and got close to him and again told him no. Again, he meowed and I could tell he wasn’t happy. Marcey was probably about 5 steps away from the house and trying to go under outdoor furniture for protection while she tried to get in. I noticed she had a lot of burrs in her fur too. I decided I’d try to pick her up and see if I could get her in the house then. At this point Meatball is next to me so I try to walk around him to get to her. I’m not even looking at Meatball but I’m not sure I would have been able to tell he was upset. The next thing I know Meatball jumps up onto to my leg and latches on with teeth and claws. I scream out in shock and pain and he takes off. Mike was home at the time and comes running out to see what had happened. I explained what happened and that Meatball attacked me. Mike has not been a big fan of Meatball, so he just looked grimly at me.
I had Mike take pictures of my leg and help me clean it up as a good deal of the scratches are on the back of my leg where I can’t see them. I also look at the side of my leg and see that I have puncture marks from Meatball biting me. I was shocked that he did that. And also worried about what a cat bite could mean. After Mike helps me clean up my leg, I message his owner to tell her what happened and that I believe he probably would not have done this if he had been neutered. She is shocked that he did this, and I remember her saying, what if he had done this to a child. She then proceeded to tell me that she had all her stuff sorted so she could start the whole getting him neutered process. I decided I need to keep my distance from Meatball in order not to encourage him to come to the garden until he’s sorted out and hopefully calmer. And so I wait. And wait. And wait.
It’s been more than a year since Meatball attacked my leg (which I think may have been re-directed aggression now) and he still has “the boys”. I realised after a while the owner was just saying what they could to placate me. He was a cat they got off Gumtree to help them deal with rats. I was beginning to realise they would do nothing for him. His desire to be in my garden was more than just a roaming thing/territory thing. It was because he was never in the house during the day, much like Grey. Over this past summer I saw that no matter how much food he ate, he was always so skinny. His fur started to look patchy and I could see him scratching quite a bit. I did forgive him after a bit when I realised it wasn’t his fault for not getting done yet. I’d started throwing out a catnip toy for him to play with after finding him in our house a few times trying to get to the catnip toys. He loved it.
One day in August though I decided enough was enough though. I could see his fur was getting worse with the patches and found 3 fleas on him at one time. I took matters into my own hands to give him food while I gave him dewormer and flea meds. Within a few weeks I could tell a huge difference. His fur was no longer dull and becoming less patchy and he was putting on weight to fit his frame. I had reported his neglect to the RSPCA but because he was not in immediate danger, they would not do anything at this time. Meatball is now spending pretty much all day in the garden even in the rain and cold sometimes, just waiting for me to open the door. I always give him attention but have been torn on the food situation and letting him come into the house. While I don’t want to encourage him to come round despite being a bit more mellow with my cats. It didn’t seem to matter if I fed him or not. He’d be at the door meowing his head off and now just waltzing into the house straight for the food bowls. I am feeding him a bit about once a day but only outside. That’s usually enough to make him happy and he’ll move on but if not, he’s usually gone by 4 to go back to his own home. I do worry about him all the time. The family is meant to be moving at some point but Covid and lockdown has caused delays to that. I worry about if they’ll leave him behind or if they go and he comes back. I also worry about not seeing him anymore and what will happen then. I just wish I knew what to do in this kind of situation.
My last cat story will be of Tabitha the tabby. Also known as Jiji’s girlfriend and whose real name is Lexi. When we still had Jiji I noticed a very pretty but shy tabby cat that would come round the garden. I first noticed her on our fence wanting to sniff out Jiji who also happen to be on the fence facing her. They were very curious about one another, but she wouldn’t let Jiji get too close, instead choosing to back away if he came closer. I’d see her every once in a while, hanging out near Jiji or just exploring our garden. And even surprisingly sneaking into the house to look around but running away once she was spotted. She is quite different to Meatball in that she’s not food motivated but more just a typical curious cat. I’d sometimes see her when I’d be walking to my bus stop for work in the early mornings going from one property to across the road. I assumed she was from somewhere across the road and would come to our garden via the house that neighboured our middle garden. She always made me worried when she’d cross the road as cars we’re known to fly up and down the road regardless of the blind spot the bend in the road caused.
After Jiji died I’d still see her from time to time. This past Spring and Summer though seemed to really bring her round. Maybe because I was outside more attempting to garden and take care of the ponds. Or maybe she just found something special about our garden as a lot of neighbourhood cats tended to do. Whenever a cat visits my garden for long enough, I’d make up a name for it to start referring to it other than calling it that tabby cat or that black and white cat. It started with Grey, he went from grey cat to just simply Grey though I had loads of nicknames for him, Mr Grey and Greyman just to name a few. Tom Tucker started from tom cat and another cat in the neighbourhood my husband and I used to call ghost cat as he looked a lot like a neighbour’s cat that passed away. Mogs had a male doppelganger that unless you looked closely at his head or face, you’d wear it was her, so we’d call him twin cat. So Jiji’s girlfriend then became Tabitha the tabby. I used to love watching her if we were both in the garden. Sometimes she’d be following Marcey around, curiously watching her, other times she’d just be looking round the garden sniffing different plants or watching bugs near the pond at the top of our garden. I never was able to get close to her as she’d take off if I did so I had to just admire her from a far. One day our back door was open as it usually was during warm weather. I was upstairs when I heard something, I assumed it was Meatball who had let himself in, so I went to go investigate. By our backdoor we had a small cabinet that we keep random things in, some gardening stuff and such. On top I had a catnip toy that I would throw out to Meatball if I ever saw him. Well it just so happens that it was Tabitha on top of the cabinet playing with the catnip toy! I took a few pictures and then started heading downstairs to which she decided to quickly leave the house. I decided to grab the toy and throw it outside for her since she was still on the patio. It didn’t take long for her to start playing with the toy after that. I found it sweet that she was that attracted to catnip so I would throw the toy out to either her or Meatball when I saw them. One day I left the toy outside instead of collecting it after it was ravaged by one of the cats and it disappeared. I began to wonder where it went.
Because the toy had disappeared and I was doing more outside with the back door open, I’d start to come inside at times to find a cat in my front room surrounded by all sorts of catnip toys just blissed out on nip! Once it was Meatball who made me do a double take when I realised it was a ginger cat and I recalled not having a ginger cat. Another time I was sitting quietly in my front room when Tabitha came in to slowly investigate. She too started going after the nearest catnip toy and just having a ball of a time. Only stopping briefly when I’d make small movements. I even once had both Meatball and Tabitha in my front room just going to town on different catnip toys while I saw there and watched. It was nice to see and enjoy. With the pandemic happening and being forced to stay home a lot more so having happy little moments like this to witness was a welcome sight. While I was happy with the two furry visitors, I was the only one. All three cats did not care for Meatball at all and Marcey while happy to play and watch Tabitha outside, would just look on perplexed as to why She was in her house and playing with her toys! Mogs made short work of chasing Tabitha out of the house when she’d see her. Eventually Tabitha would growl and hiss if any of the cats came near her while she was inside and she’d quickly make an exit. Can’t say I blame her though. The only other time I ever heard Tabitha growl would be when I was using the flying frenzy stick toy on her. She’d quickly grab and then try to take off out of the house with it! I remember once following her while holding the toy and having to basically play tug of war with a cat who was dead set on taking the feather toy, stick and all, with her. I could just imagine her jumping the fence with it and dragging it across the street to her home! I also think I knew who took the missing catnip toy I had left outside as well!
Tabitha was slowly getting used to me, she’d no longer jump if I made any movements and would walk past me into the house whereas before she’d wait for me to move away from her path before she came near. While I still couldn’t pet her, the closest I managed was to hold my hand out to her for a sniff and she’d rub her whiskers on my index finger. I thought more and more about how she was becoming a regular at our home. But I could tell she was well taken care of, so I worried about letting her stay for too long, I didn’t want to unintentionally steal someone’s cat after all. Eventually I had the idea to buy Tabitha her own catnip toys and knock on the door of the house I thought was hers to gift them her own toys. Being a shy person the idea of this kind of terrified me. But I wanted them to know how thankful I was too to have her company when things have been so hard this year with how isolated I’ve felt. I put the toys in an envelope, wrote a little note in a card and made my way to her house. I knocked on the door and a minute later a young Asian woman opened the window next to the door to see who it was. I first asked if they had a female tabby cat that way I knew if I was wasting my time or not. When she said yes I explained in the best way possible that I only lived on the road that was just across the ways from them and that for the past several months I’d been making friends with their cat. I told them how she’d come in and play with the catnip toys we had for our own cats and how she brought me joy just to see her enjoy them. I wanted her to have some of her own so she wouldn’t have to come to ours just for a bit of nip. Her owners received it all very well and thought it was sweet. I also met the young woman’s mother who happen to hear me explaining and came to the window as well. This is how I learned that Tabitha’s real name was Lexi. Since then I haven’t seen her as much, maybe once a week or once every two weeks. With the change in weather, and I’m sure toys in her own home, she’s not felt the need to come round much. When I do see her, I excitedly say hello to her, sometimes still calling her Tabitha before correcting myself. Force of habit, I guess. Usually she is waiting for me to open the door, sitting at the steps where the middle and top of our garden meet. She’ll briefly come inside but hasn’t yet had another change to play with the catnip toys I own. I still have yet to pet her. But whatever happens in the future, I’m glad to have the memories I have of her.
This concludes my lifetime of cat stories. I wanted to talk about all the cats that had a special impact on my life. Is there a cat or cats in your life that were special to you? Do you have any stories you’d like to share of your own special bond? Please comment below, I’d love to hear about them.
So, I thought for a first post just to get things started again I’d talk about what I’ve been up to for the last 5 years since my June 2015 post about my haunted pub crawl in York. (Seriously, 5 years? I feel like that was 2 years ago still and it was so much fun!) This is going to be a long post though as there’s a lot to sum up!
First off, I am now a permanent resident in the UK. I had to live here about 5 years on my spouse visa before I could apply to be a permanent resident which I will hold until forever now unless I leave the country for more than 2 years. But I got my permanent residency in February before Covid took off. I was working until January 2020 as I got made redundant from my job. I honestly didn’t mind as the place wasn’t working for me, we were not a good fit anymore. I did meet some lovely people and had some good connections that I hope will last. But it was most definitely one of the more stressful experiences in my life. Not long after I got the job in 2015, I had to finally admit I needed help with my anxiety. I’ve had it my whole life and just tried to get on with things and not let it get in the way of my life. But little did I know that it was holding me back. It took another few years for me to go on anti-depressants and seek out more help. Anxiety UK and Bank Workers Charity are amazing organisations and if it wasn’t for them, I probably would not be where I am today.
I know my anxiety will never fully go away but I have far better ways to manage it now and have good people surrounding me that are willing to help. I had great support from my colleagues and managers at the time in September 2017 when I was at my breaking point. I do feel like a different person on anti-depressants. But I am the person I feel I’m meant to be that all my mental health issues were holding back. The fact I went so long without help is shocking when I think about it.
For most of the last 5 years I’ve been working and trying to focus on my mental health. Oh, and trying to be a permanent resident. If I’m honest, a bit boring really. Since being unemployed I’ve had a ridiculous amount of free time and then the Lockdown that happened in March I kind of lost any possible prospects to fill my time. Which is a bummer but I’m trying to think in a “this too shall pass” kind of way cause if I didn’t then those pesky mental health problems would rear their ugly head.
Let’s get on with what 2020 has been like!
In January I was made redundant like I said. Not a lot happened for me then. I was job hunting but I was also preparing for my application for being a permanent resident.
February, I became a permanent UK resident (Yippee!). I started taking my physical health more seriously. I’ve been overweight for the majority of my life. I finally hit that weight I did not want to hit and thought, I need to change this. So, I did. More on this later…
March, I started volunteering at a local library which lasted for two weeks before what was meant to be a 3-week national lockdown turned into months. Getting out of the house was extremely limited. I had to adapt my physical activities but thankfully getting daily exercise out of the house was still allowed! This was good for my mental health too. I started doing more in the garden and around the house. I got to catch up on all my YouTube videos I had saved to my watch later list (seems silly but working made it hard to find the time). I had a tadpole project in my dining room thanks to the ponds in my garden which kept me occupied for a bit.
I did feel like I was going Stir crazy in April and May. My mental health suffered with not getting to see friends and plans being cancelled because we couldn’t go anywhere. I continued to do as much walking as I could since the weather was absolutely beautiful.
Around this time though I did start to notice a stray tabby cat in the neighbourhood. I have three cats, you may remember Mogs and Grey from when I was a student. Grey was the cat we took in after neighbours moved away. Mogs was one of the cats my in-laws adopted back in 2010. For the last two years I have been a cat mum to my baby girl Marcey. And she truly is my baby. We actually adopted her a few months after losing one of our other cats, Jiji who was sadly knocked down in front of our house. We had only had him a year. (This was around the time I went on anti-depressants so to say late 2017 was difficult for me is an understatement). But I was spending a lot of time with them outside in our garden when I noticed him. He was very clearly a tom cat with how dirty he looked and his chubby cheeks and very much un-neutered. He did not seem interested in causing fights (thank god), but I also noticed that one of his eyes just did not seem right. I posted about him online to get advice and see what I could do for him because the more I saw him, the worse his eye looked.
I managed to get a trap from the RSPCA and set it up in my garden to try to catch him. Cat’s Protection gave me a voucher to get him neutered for when I did catch him. It took about a week and after catching a neighbour’s cat once, my numpty cat Grey twice and several nonstarters with the food being eaten but the trap not set off (most likely by my own cats) but I caught him!
Starting to trust me after catching him.
I had taken to referring to him as Tom Tucker before catching him and the name just kind of stuck. I would call him TT or Tommy for short the other times. I thought I’d get him seen to for a neuter and his eye (which turned out to only be a scratch that would heal on its own), let him recover and see how he handled being inside a house on his own and either release him or keep him. He was very scared in that trap. I made an appointment for him that day to get seen to but with how he was I couldn’t bring him inside or even really let him out of the trap. I kept the trap covered and made sure he had food and water and tried my best not to stress him out. The vets just assumed he was a feral cat since I had not handled him yet. I asked they not tip his ear as I wanted to get how he’d get on after a week (I figured that would be enough time for him to recover and me to see what he was like, haha I was wrong). Fast forward to the next day when he is at mine with food and water, toys, a litter box, and peace and quiet in my dining room. As he would not come out of the cage at first, I left him for a bit after about an hour I checked on him to find he was out. There were a few things I noticed. He wanted nothing to do with me and he kept his distance. He was happy with food and knew how to use a litter box. Since there is a computer in our dining room I decided to hang in there for a bit to keep an eye on him and get him used to me even from a distance. He would eat in front of me and use the litter box. I could tell he would play with the toys I gave him when I wasn’t around as they would be in different spots from where I’d placed them. And within hours of him being in the room with me he was sleeping with his belly exposed to me even if it was across the room.
He didn’t seem like a feral cat, he wasn’t trying to escape the room, he knew what a litter box was, and he liked toys. He was just distrustful of me. What I thought would only be a week turned into like two to three months with this cat. And honestly his transformation was amazing. The first month was hard, he did not trust me. Could be food aggressive around the food bowls when I was feeding or giving him water, would hide at the drop of a hat if he heard something in the kitchen or there was a knock at the door. And he ended up getting a bladder infection due to the stress of moving indoors. But we started overcoming that.
Once I noticed while eating some chicken in from of him. He suddenly lost his shyness and shameless begged for some chicken from me. I of course gave him a little bit. I still hadn’t tried petting him at this point and had a brush on order to see if I could start getting him to accept touch as the leather gauntlet-like gloves I had bought to handle him when it came to getting him in a carrier for the vet scared the shit out of him. I was attempting to start play time with a feather toy. It worked a bit; he used the sheltered he took under the dining room table as his safe place. I had to be careful though as sometimes I managed to scare him with the feather toy, and he would back further away. When I got the brush, I attached it to a handle that came with it and started using that on him to see how he liked it. At first, he was afraid of it and I think batted it away but eventually he realised it felt nice. He absolutely loved to have his head and cheeks brushed. We started getting into a routine where if I were sat by the computer, he’d come over to get brushed. He would start rubbing against my legs and purring away. I would sometimes try to use my hand to pet him when he wasn’t noticing but after surviving a few scratches from him I didn’t push my luck as I didn’t want to upset him more. One day I decided I’d sit on the floor with a fleece blanket and use the brush then. What happened next absolutely shocked me!
He started getting into my lap to sleep and was trying to get on my chest to get closer! I won’t lie, I was kind of scared because I didn’t know if he would let me get up without getting upset because at this point I was used to him being distance and sometimes aggressive if he got scared. I honestly do not think I needed to worry. Eventually I had to make a set up with the computer chair and a dining room chair while on the computer. Tommy could easily lay in my lap for hours just sleeping and being brushed and the floor was rather uncomfortable, and I needed to keep myself occupied while we had quality time together. And through all this he transformed even more!
The scared distant cat was no more. I’d be greeted every time I came in the room with a waiting TT at the door who wanted his food, attention, and lap time. He was slowly getting better with food aggression. Changing his water was the worse as obviously I had to bend down to pick it up and set it back down again. I usually used the glove at this point to protect my and as it wasn’t unusual for him to decide he didn’t like me touching his water bowl for him to take a swipe at my hand. I’d hardly be able to sit in the chair before he was instantly in my lap and trying to jump onto my chest to get as close to my face as possible because he loved to nuzzle me and rest his head under my chin while I held him. He was still a bit skittish and I did my best not to overstimulate him with brushing. But I was honestly in love with this total love bug.
He loves me!
Throughout all this I kept debating about whether we should keep him. We already had three cats, so we knew what it took to transition a new cat into the household. However, this wasn’t a young cat, Tommy was at least 2 years old and possibly even older. He wasn’t aggressive with other cats, in fact he would mew and chirp at mine when he would occasionally see them while Mogs and Grey grumpily went the other way and Marcey took social distancing with TT to a whole other level by running as fast as she could up the stairs. I had not really allowed TT time out of the dining room due to his initial bladder issues, my own cats’ attitude towards him and then having the backdoor constantly open as we we’re having our bathroom renovated. (That also went from what we thought would be a week to like 3 1/2 weeks of renovation.) I was not sure we could afford a 4th cat either with myself being unemployed and only my husband working. Plus, my mother-in-law who we have lived with this whole time had cat allergies and lung cancer so adding another cat could tip her ability to deal with the allergies over the edge. Having him in one room was just manageable as she kept a wide berth of that room. I had mentioned to a friend who was living alone and had considered getting a cat or two about Tommy when I first was trying to trap him. I thought maybe this would be a good opportunity for both if I could get Tommy to a more trusting mindset. He was open to the idea and met him once or twice. While Tommy was unsure, he was not quite like how he initially was. And when Tommy ended up scratching my friend who tried to innocently offer him cat treats by hand, he was more concerned about stressing Tommy out than he was about being scratched.
I decided it was time to take Tommy to the vet again. He needed to be chipped, vaccinated and I wanted to have him check for FIV as I had a feeling me might be positive which would mean it would be best if I didn’t let him permanently move in. As sweet as he was, I could not guarantee that my other cats wouldn’t start fights with him and that was unfair on everyone! One other thing was the fact I noticed he had a few chipped teeth which I knew could be a sign of FIV positive and he could do with having his mouth looked at. And finally wanted the vet’s advice on transferring a scared cat and what to do about food aggression as the water bowl was still an issue.
The big day for TT came and I managed to get him into the carrier without having to push back his appointment (unlike last time). The most surprising thing with him was how quiet he got once he was in the carrier. I’m used to my cats yowling and panting to get out, but he was just silent. The vets were well used to me by now, I had spent a lot of time traveling back and forth for Tommy and my own cats (check-ups, one emergency and medication pickups). I also knew with Tommy that I had to be very thorough in explaining his situation and what I wanted done which was a lot. The vet was amazing, and we worked together on what was best that day. They gave me meds for anxiety for his second set of vaccinations and his eventual trip to his new home. He did have to have three teeth pulled, his test for Feline Leukaemia was negative but his test for FIV, or Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, was positive. Beyond not letting him go outside so he didn’t pass it on, there wasn’t much I needed to worry about. He could live a normal life, I knew he wouldn’t be going to another home with a cat though I’ve been told its possible for FIV positive and negative cats to live in harmony but I thought it best for Tommy to be the sole focus of attention and live a pampered indoor kitty lifestyle.
Once Tommy was all healed up, had his second vaccinations I made plans to move him to my friend’s property. It was August at this point and thankfully seeing friends was allowed again, I had managed to have a small get together for my birthday and to see some of my husband’s family as well as friends who had babies this year. My healthy lifestyle kind of went a bit by the wayside for a bit since I spent more time indoors with Tommy and didn’t like leaving him on his own much. I decided once he went to his new home I would jump back into it. I was still active, drinking loads of water, but I was having too much unhealthy food on a regular basis again. Tommy went to his dad’s place with no problems and I get constant updates on him to the point I have no worries about these two. Tommy loves his dad, even lets him pick him up and hold him like a baby. Something I’ve never done. He’s still a little skittish but I believe with time he’ll gain more confidence.
Being held like a baby by his dad.
Getting to check on Tommy in October
For most of the year I was using an app called Noom. I used part of my last bonus from my job to pay for a subscription to it. It is honestly the best thing I have done. I might get more into it later. I ended up cancelling it after about 4 months due to a lack of funds but when I started slipping into bad habits again I thought, I need the support I had paid for before so once again I subscribed to it. I made new goals. I managed to deal with a second local lockdown quite well since I was making more of an effort to get out of the house. I starting to try to do things solo as well. I figured; well I can’t go meet a friend at a cafe but I can go on my own. (which I can’t remember when I got to do that, whether it was during or after the local lockdown). I started making attempts to cook a lot more since I was wanting to focus on my health. I been trying Simply Cook recipes which just give me some spices and/or pastes as well as a recipe and I do all the rest. It has certainly made cooking a lot easier as well as meal planning.
I’ve had a goal for this year beyond losing weight and getting into better healthy habits to try to attempt to run again. When I first adopted Marcey I did this after work. I’d be very excited to see her I’d just run halfway home after getting off the bus (in my work clothes no less with a backpack on). I’d try to get up early on Saturdays too to go for a jog. I can’t remember why I didn’t stick to it but eventually the weather changed stopped me. I wanted to build up my fitness a bit more before I attempted running. I thought if I could try to manage 10,000 steps a few days a week, I could try running. While I managed this and after a few weeks I thought. Okay, you downloaded Couch to 5K app. You have the right clothing and shoes, a decent playlist and headset. Just try it out. Then my group in Noom mentioned a challenge to do something new over the weekend. And I made a goal to try to run 3 laps around a certain park without stopping in like 6 weeks’ time. It was now or never!
I won’t lie, that first run sucked. But it was easy enough to follow. It set the bar for me as well to see what it took for me to run a full lap around the park. I’m now midway through week 4 and can run for 16 minutes and about a lap and half to 2 laps around the park depending on how I pace myself. I’ve been referring to YouTube for advice on running with breathing, stretching and someone else who has completed couch to 5k. I really do feel better than ever! I may still be an overweight but it is something I’m working on. I love myself for who I am now not who I want to be and can really tell a huge difference in myself from last year. To hardly active other than to walk to and from the bus stop to work, only going for long walks when the weather was nice and only with others and not eating a balanced diet. I now do physical activity at least 5 days a week. I have to make myself rest for two days so I don’t overdo things in my body. I drink lots and lots of water and only let myself drink something else once I have had my daily water intake (except for my morning cup of coffee). I look for more and more days to add veg into my meals, if I have a meal out or a takeaway I do my best to add veg to it or have something that already has a lot of veg. If not, then its a treat and get back into the next day. I can feel such a difference in my body now too. I’ve only lost 25 pounds but its in the healthiest way in body and mind for me to lose it. I’ll still continue to work on losing weight for the long term. I’m not in a rush because I am noticing that all these small changes have added up to a more permanent lifestyle change that I am far more able to cope with.
September and October were more focused on my health and taking care of my family. My husband and I celebrated our 7th anniversary in the beginning of October. Normally we would take a trip somewhere even if it was only for a few days to celebrate but like just about everything this year, it was not to be. We still had a good day considering.
That’s been my year so far. We’re in November now with an impending national lockdown to happen in days. But come what may. I’ll do my best to take it head on!
Hopefully you remember me if you read this blog years ago. I think its been 5 years since my last post. I’m attempting to start this up again as I have a ridiculous amount of time to myself these days!
*cough* Thanks 2020 *cough*
I’m not sure what direction I’ll be going with the writing side of things. Maybe day to day life. My interests and just general things about living in England. This is just a little post to update anyone interested in reading my stuff again, be you someone I know or a complete stranger on the interwebs!
My adventures across the pond 